Hello Darkness My Old Friend
by the morrighan
Summary: The first of the stories set in the future, which sees Atlantis sinking and the return of Dark Sheppard.  Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Green.

The little light blinked. It was a tiny emerald beacon on a long, cluttered console. Almost lost amid the other blinking lights. Swirling data on screens. A minuscule knob among various switches and buttons. Controls all vying for attention, recognition. The little green light was neglected. A thin layer of dust shrouded it, made it nearly invisible until now. Now that it had been activated. Now that it was alert. A green flash demanding attention.

The technician almost missed it. A green light lost among all of the others. Only singled out by its unique color. The only green in a sea of reds and ambers. Because it hadn't blinked in months. In years. He stared stupidly at it, uncomprehending. As his mind assured him it was real. Not a hallucination or yet another glitch in the system. As his brain processed the information and realized exactly what it meant. The origin of the signal.

Yet he still stared at it. Unmoving. Hands frozen over his keyboard. Until finally he gulped. Swallowed. Realizing the significance. The import. Especially to one man. He gulped again. "Sir?" His voice was lost in the cacophony of noises surrounding him. Voices clattering, arguing. Machines running loudly. Power surges creating sparks until they whined down to nothing. "Sir! Incoming transmission, sir! Section...sector nine."

The identification halted all the cacophony. Even the machines quieted at the words. Into the expectant, shocked hush one man's footsteps echoed on the floor. A steady, strong gait. Pausing behind the technician.

The hapless man swallowed again. "Incoming, sir," he repeated needlessly. He could feel a line of sweat beading his brow.

"Yes," the man replied. "I can see that."

A hand on his shoulder made the technician flinch. It took all of his self-control not to yelp. "Shall I, should I receive, sir?" He waited. Eyes glued to the little green light. Blinking steadily, oblivious to the commotion it had caused. The hand on the technician's shoulder tightened. Muscles clenching as if to pounce.

"Designation," the man stated.

The technician's fingers flew over the keyboard. "Anomaly two eight six, sir. Static burst of three point two seconds. A data burst only. Shall I receive, sir?"

"Two eight six," the man repeated quietly. His voice softening over the numbers as if to caress them, to savor them.

"Sir?"

"Yes. Receive," he ordered.

The technician hit the button. The little green light flared brightly, briefly. Then faded. Its work done it could return to its slumber. A stream of encrypted data sparked on the monitor. A wavering line that resolved itself into words. But the technician stared, dumbfounded. "Sir? What is that?"

"Gaelic. I'll be damned..." he muttered.

"Sir? I don't understand."

"You're not supposed to understand. It's from...it's from Atlantis."

"Sir? That's impossible! The city is under the ocean!"

"I know that. This is from the other Atlantis," John Sheppard clarified.

And smiled.

_Two days earlier..._

Claxons were screaming. Lights flickered on and off. Monitors hummed, whined. Power surging and draining, unpredictable. Erratic. An odd staccato of sounds, of motion. "Where?" John Sheppard shouted, running into the control room. "We just recovered Section H!"

Rodney McKay stared at a console, deciphering the erratic scrolling data. It vanished from time to time. "Section C! Level three now! Just like the last time! A breech of some sort. I should be able to isolate it before the city takes over and locks it down!"

"Should be?" John asked. A jolt hit. "What the hell was..."

"System failure! Section E! It's flooding! But that's impossible! We can't adjust for the fluctuating..." Rodney broke off as the room seemed to tilt, as if caught on a wave, then righted itself.

"Section E? Crap!"

"John? John!" Rodney called, but John was gone. Whirling and racing out of the control room.

Another violent jolt sent Rodney to the floor. He leapt to his feet, grabbing the console. "Evacuate all lower levels! Section E is compromised!"

"What's going on?" Richard Woolsey asked, joining him. "I thought we had that area clear?"

Rodney met his concerned gaze. "Section D! Section C is contained but I can't control Section E! We're losing power to vital areas while the city tries to preserve itself! Richard...it's increasing at a rate I can't predict nor hinder. We're sinking! The city is sinking!"

Johnny Sheppard glanced at his mother. She was engrossed in a data screen, talking quietly to another woman. He looked round the laboratory. Bio Three was humming with life. Like a giant aquarium the walls bubbled with water. Harmonious shades of blues and greens made it soothing. The quiet hum of machines was a constant background sound. But something was very wrong. The city was sick. He could feel it. The lights flickered. "Mommy." He looked down. Stared incredulously at the pool of water forming under his sneakers. "Mommy?" He watched the trickles of liquid, followed their course and found his gaze moving to the door at the back of the lab. Water was seeping under it. "Mommy!"

Moira Sheppard turned. "Johnny? What is–" Alarms blared, cutting off her question. Moira rushed to her son as the main door to the lab slid shut. Lights flashed. She gathered the little boy in her arms. "What the?" She stared at the water.

"Moira! Moira!" John's voice sounded in her ear. His frantic tone clear through the earpiece.

"John! John, we're–"

"On my way! Get out of there now!"

Moira led her son to the main door, away from the water. "Roslyn! Come on!" She waved her hand over the panel. Nothing happened. She repeated it. "John? We're in lock down! The door won't open." The floor seemed to tilt and she caught herself.

"Mommy! Look!"

She turned. Johnny was pointing at the opposite door. Water was beginning to pour through it. "Crap," she muttered.

"Rodney! Override the lock down in Section E!" John ordered, running.

Rodney started at the voice in his ear. "Trying! We have significant breeches in that entire section, on all lower levels! I can't–"

"You can! You'll have a significant breech in your own system if you don't get those doors open!" John threatened. "Moira and Johnny are in there!"

"What? On it! John, you need to get them out of there now!"

"You think? Crap!" he swore, racing towards a bulkhead as it was closing. About to cut him off from his family. He leapt through, swerving sideways to fit. Just made it as the doors slammed shut. He spun on his boots, kept running. "Override the lock down! Pull the fucking ZPM if you have to!"

The citywide PA blared to life. Richard's voice was calm. "Attention all Atlantis personnel. We are in Evac Two. Repeat, Evac Two. All teams begin evacuation of Levels Three and Four."

"John! I can't pull the ZPM! It's the only thing keeping us stable!"

"Stable? You call this stable?" he snapped, as the floor tilted under him. He rounded the corner, hit the wall. Kept moving.

"You know what I mean! The central core of the city!"

"Moira! Status!"

"Daddy! Daddy, we wet!"

John smiled at his son's voice. Sounding excited, not scared. "I'm coming, junior. Help mommy open the door. Override the system, son."

"Can't daddy! City sick. Water's cold!" He giggled.

"I'm coming, son!" He skidded into a transporter. Only to find it inoperable. Swearing he ran out of it, rushed for the stairs. Lights flickered on and off.

Moira was on her knees, opening another access panel. "I don't know which ones? Anything?"

Roslyn Winters shrugged, pushing buttons. "Nothing here. The...oh shit." The swear word sounded humorous in her proper British accent. The computers died. All whined, and went dark at once.

"Wonderful," Moira muttered. "Johnny, here. Help me." She pried at the crystals. The little boy moved to her, did the same. Touching the panel.

"City sick, mommy. It won't answer."

"Wonderful," she repeated. Looked down to see water seeping along the floor. Soaking her knees, her son's feet. She looked over her shoulder. "Roslyn, leave that! It's no use!"

The older woman was hunched over a data pad. "Not yet! I can at least back up these files while the system is in doze mode! There's just enough power left!"

Moira stood. The water was covering her feet as well now. She lifted her son to her arms. "It's all right, Johnny. Daddy will get us out of here. Roslyn, leave that!" She moved to the door. "John! John, we have a problem here. John?"

John flew down the stairs, down the hallways. Rushed and leapt between two more closing doors. Almost being crushed in the process. He fell to the floor, slid along a layer of cold water. "Crap! Rodney! Anything?"

"Negative!" came the irascible voice. "The city is in its self-protect mode again! Automated systems even I can't access! John, we're sinking! Not just that section but the whole city! The only option is to jettison that area, and I'm afraid the city will do it!"

"Damn it!" A jolt sent him into a wall. But he didn't stop. Kept running. Water sloshed over his boots now. Then the lights blinked. Were gone. He was plunged into darkness. "Crap."

"Is there any way to stabilize that section?" Richard asked.

Rodney shook his head, working on two consoles at once. "No! Only a temporary fix but I can't stop the city from defending itself!"

"Temporary is all John needs. Do what you can." Richard touched Rodney's shoulder, moved to another console. "Try re-routing the power to that section, but only for a few moments. Maybe the city won't notice."

Rodney glanced at him. "Yeah, right, the city won't notice if you...hey...that might work!" But he paused. "If we do that we could lose Section H."

"Fine. That section is completely evacuated. Do it!" Richard ordered.

"Doing it! Here we go. Nice and easy, now. John, John! I'm transferring a bit of power to your area. It might give you enough time to get through and get them out!"

"It had better! Do it!" John stated. He had been forced to slow down, shining his P90 light to see in the bitter darkness of the lower levels. Water sloshed up to his shins now. He saw some doors closing. Began to rush, fearing he would not make it in time, but the doors slowed. Stopped. He hastened through them, down the hallway. "It worked Rodney! Keep doing that! Rodney?"

"Oh my God..."

At the soft exclamation Rodney looked up from the console. A crowd was standing across the room. Had filtered out onto the balcony. Curious he followed. Pushed through to stand next to Richard. "What? We don't have time to gawk out here when...oh my God..."

A far section of the city was tilted wildly. Iron spires awkwardly rocking, heaving with the force of the waves. Of the invasive water taking over. Explosions rippled. As the city disentangled itself from its dying limb. Desperate to save itself. The section floated free, rocking wildly. Then crashed. An explosion sent waves into the air. Sent the rest of the city wheeling. Many fell. Rodney grabbed the railing, staring aghast as the once elegant spires bent under the pressure. As the section collapsed in on itself. And sank beneath the heaving waves.

"John! John!" Moira hefted her son higher. The water was lapping at her thighs now. Freezing cold. Numbing her feet. "We can't open the door! John!" The lights flickered. Blinked out all at once, leaving them in darkness. "Oh no. Roslyn, get over here now!"

A weird groaning sound rent the air. Moira watched in horror as the second set of doors bucked. Bent. As if they were made of rubber. Then blew apart as a wave of water hit. Inundating the consoles. The equipment sparked wildly. Electricity fizzled. Roslyn was thrown backwards by the force of the water, smashed up against a wall like a rag doll. Moira turned away, cuddling her son to her so he wouldn't see. She was pressed against the door. As the waves crested over the consoles. Heading straight for them. "John..."

"Moira! Moira, no, no!" John could hear the rushing waters, the crashes of equipment. He felt the violent vibration under his boots. Water sluiced around him now. He was running through knee-high waters in the dark when a tremendous crash resounded. The doors burst open. A tide of water rushed out towards him. Moira and Johnny rode out on it. Were gently deposited at his feet as the wave subsided.

Johnny was locked in his mother's arms. Looked up at his father. "Hi daddy!"

John grinned at his son. Hoisted him to his arms. "Hey, junior. Moy?"

Moira grabbed his arm, hauled herself to her feet. "John! Let's go!" She glanced behind her. Roslyn's body floated into the hallway. Moira met John's gaze.

John glanced there. "Let's go," he said gently. Guided her in front of him, up the hallway. More water was rushing, filling the room, then the halls as if chasing after them. "Rodney, got them!

Let the city shut it down!"

"Thank God! Here we go!"

Power fluctuated. Doors began to slam shut, trying to contain the flooding. John led Moira up the stairs, down another hallway, up more stairs. Paused to turn to see the waters running like a river below them. Doors slamming shut. Alarms blaring. Lights flickering on again. Johnny clung to his father, watching as well. "Daddy, city sick."

"Yeah, buddy, I know. But you're safe now. We're safe now." He glanced at Moira. She was soaking wet. Her clothes clinging to every curve. Hair straggling messily.

Moira hugged herself as chills coursed along her back, her skin. She met John's gaze. "What?"

He smiled. "Just another day in Atlantis."

"Hilarious, John. Let's get out of here!"

"As ordered, sweetheart."

"Daddy, daddy, city sick," the little boy repeated.

"I know, buddy. Don't you worry. Uncle Rodney will fix it."


	2. Chapter 2

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend2

"I can't fix it." Rodney eyed the dumbfounded expressions as everyone stared at him. He sighed. "I know. I can't believe it either, much less admit it." To John's glower he added, "even I don't know everything about the city, all right? The city is going into a severe self-protect mode right now and it is sinking!"

"Sinking how?" John demanded, hands on hips. He glanced at Moira. She was holding Johnny as he stared round.

"Sinking as in sinking! Going down! The city is in a severe self-protect mode. To the extent it is breaking off extraneous parts that endanger its heart. We lost Section H." He pulled up the footage. "Complete collapse. It disengaged completely, not only the grounding stations but the entire substructure. I tried a reverse Ancient code but to no avail. It will keep happening until the shield rises and we sink to the bottom of the ocean. And I can't do a damn thing about it!"

John was staring at the footage of the destruction. "What the hell is causing this? A virus? An enemy? A subterranean seismic event?" he asked, ticking off the reasons Rodney had postulated.

"I don't know."

"We need to evacuate all personnel now. The 'Gate can–"

"Inoperable. I can't get any power to it."

"The Jumpers! We can fly to the mainland until you–"

"Locked down and will be flooded in days, at this rate. We're stuck here, John. All of us." Rodney glanced at Moira. At Johnny.

Silence. John shook his head, refusing the words. "No. There has to be a way, Rodney! There's always a way! When you re-routed the power, that bought me enough time to rescue Moira and Johnny. Can't you keep doing that and stabilize the city?"

"No." At Richard's voice all eyed him. "We've already tried. The schematics prove it to be impossible. As if we were fighting the city itself. Rodney is correct. One by one the sections of the city are going to break apart and drown. Then the central area will do the same. It's only a matter of time, John. More flooding will weigh us down and expedite the process."

"And you don't know why this is happening?" Moira asked.

"No, I only wish I did! And I can't even begin to work out how to slow the effects of the...you." He pointed at John. Snapped his fingers. "You do!"

"I do?" John asked, meeting the scientist's gaze. "I do what?"

"Well, not you, but the other you. Know what to do! He deliberately sank the city, remember? How?"

John frowned at the mention of his darker self. A doppelganger in a different reality from his. A parallel universe that was a mockery of his own. "Explosives to detach the sections and break the grounding stations. No...he initiated a partial self-destruct but it failed. The city sank but I don't know exactly how..."

"Great. If you did know I could have reverse engineered the process and kept us afloat!"

"Then we need to ask how." All stared at Moira. Her words startling.

John stepped to her. Snaked his arm around her waist. "No."

"How long do we have?" Richard asked, puzzled by the exchange. He had read all of the previous mission reports from past years. But the one concerning the alternate Atlantis was scanty. Lacking details that made him wonder.

"Two days. Three at the most," Rodney dourly noted.

"You can send an encrypted message through the anomaly," Moira stated. She set her son down. The little boy stood close. "A data burst. I will code it in Gaelic so only he can read it."

"No," John repeated.

"I believe this is our only option. Moira, please. Rodney," Richard decided.

"I said no," John stated. Voice firmer. Anger underlying it. His son stared up at him.

"We don't have a choice, John. This is not the Titanic and we are not going down with the ship," Richard stated. Frowned. "We need help, and what better allies to ask then ourselves. Well, versions of ourselves. Who have faced a similar dilemma."

Moira moved to a console where Rodney was already typing. "I'll make it brief. Concise. City sinking. Need help. Losing stability in all areas. Flooding."

"That's good. Accessing the anomaly. Only three point two seconds. Slipping a note under the door, remember? Like last time. Nothing else."

"Daddy, daddy, the city's sick," Johnny noted, tugging his father's hand.

John met his gaze briefly. "I know, buddy." He looked at his wife. Watched her lean over to type the words into Gaelic. Water dripping from her hair, her clothes. He scowled, but remained silent. Hating the drastic measure. Realizing the necessity. Hating it anyway.

"Mommy, mommy, can Uncle Rod fix it?"

"Yes, darling. Uncle Rodney will fix it," she assured. "Okay."

"Here we go. Transmitting in three. Two. One. Transmitting. Done! Anomaly shut."

"How soon can we expect a response?" Richard asked.

Rodney shrugged. "Who knows? Soon, I hope...I'll keep monitoring."

Moira turned. Moved to her husband. She took her son's hand. "Let's go, darling. We need to get out of these wet clothes." She led him out of the control room.

John stepped to Rodney. "You notify me the second, the fucking second you get a response."

"Of course, John. Don't worry. It will only be a data burst...I think..."

"John, we had no choice. I don't understand the concern. He's you, right? Just a different version of you," Richard reasoned.

John eyed the other man. "No." His voice was gruff. "He's not me. Never, never think he is me. Got it?" He glared at everyone. Stomped out of the control room. Pissed. "Evac Two report!" he barked into the earpiece.

"All secure, sir!" Evan Lorne responded. "Level Three is completely clear now!"

"Hold position. Delta, to the southeast pier. Stand guard! Sheppard out!"

John entered his quarters. Forcing a calm onto himself that he didn't feel. He saw the bathroom door closed. Heard water running. He moved to his son's room. The little boy was clad in dry clothes. A black t-shirt and blue pants mirroring his father's. Even down to the little black wristband on his arm. He was sitting on his bed, busily putting together a toy. Face all concentration. Tongue extended as he concentrated. John smiled. Crossed back into his room. He moved to the bathroom hearing the water stop. He peeked around the door. Smirked. Stepped in silently, shutting the door behind him.

Moira was drying off her hair with a towel. She only had on a teal bra. She set the towel aside, shivering. Wiggled and pulled on a pair of matching teal panties, leaning.

John ogled her bare rear. "Ah, fuck me baby. Aren't you wet enough?"

"John!" She yanked the panties onto her, whirling. Damp hair flying all around her. He laughed low, gaze raking over her. "John, you–"

In one step he was next to her. Pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Kept kissing her, shoving her body to his. Hands sliding down the curves of her back to grab her rear. To squeeze and squeeze until she squirmed, whimpered. "I'll warm you, baby, don't you worry," he offered, voice hot in her ear.

"John! Now?" she asked, grabbing his shoulders. Her brown eyes widening feeling his reactions. The obvious stiffening in his pants.

"Pert little ass," he explained. He kissed her again. Slid his mouth down her throat as he freed her rear. Cupped her breasts and fondled. "So?" he smiled. "Still wet, baby?"

She smirked, glancing past him to the closed door. "Johnny?"

"Busy. So?" he repeated. Said into her ear, "I need to fuck you, baby. Fuck you hard. Now."

"Charming, colonel, just charming," she noted wryly. But her hands slid down his chest, his waist to his pants. Grabbing hold as he slid his mouth to her breasts. Sucking at her hard, rosy nipples through the fabric of her bra. He groaned as her fingers played, teased. Tormented. "Ssh, sweetie!" she remonstrated. Undid his pants, his belt. Unzipped. Caught him as he was still trapped in his shorts. "Such big, big ordnance, colonel. So hard...so hard..."

"Fuck!"

"Ssh!" She freed him as he yanked down her bra. Mouth on her bare skin, now. Nibbling. Biting gently to make her squirm, arch. Whimper with need, arousal. "Oh John!"

"Ssh!" he retorted with a sly grin. "So fucking sweet, baby." He straightened. Touched her hips. Touched the panties and yanked, yanked them down. Moving to his knees to kiss along her thigh, fingers snaking the material off one foot. His mouth moved higher, higher, skimming her mound now. He made a deep sound, very male. Very hungry.

Moira whimpered, shifting. Pushing at him. "John, no, no, John, I'll be too loud, John!"

He stood. Licked his lips slowly. A deliberate provocation. "So. Fucking. Sweet." He paused between each word. Voice husky. Gaze boring into hers. Quickly he yanked down his pants. His shorts. Grabbed her and hoisted her onto the counter. He shoved apart her thighs. "My Moira." He kissed her, tongue gliding into her mouth, as he thrust his very erect cock into her.

Moira whimpered, squirming. Fingers grabbing his bare arms, the t-shirt as he thrust, thrust. Rocking her on the counter where she was precariously balanced. The sink behind her. "John! Oh John, John, John!" she purred, pleasure spiraling, spiraling. No longer cold as his warmth enveloped her. His love. His lust.

"Ssh, baby," he scolded, groaning as he was closer, closer now. As she circled his ear, bit the way he liked. As she squirmed, clenching on his cock as he moved faster, faster, harder. Making her flood and receive all of him in the most intimate of embraces.

Moira was rocking wildly on the counter, practically bouncing, feet flying off the floor as John plied her, plied her repeatedly. Harder and faster in the rush to release. To mutual enjoyment. She held onto him, fingers clawing at his arms, his shoulders. Her moans and soft sounds only encouraging him, arousing him.

She cried out as she came, a burst of orgasm pulsing in every nerve. Pleasure budding and flowering in her, around him as he kept moving, moving. Finally grunted, groaned and shuddered with the sweet release. He strained, thrust hard, then spurted wildly. Jerking and then relaxing into the orgasm. He kissed her. Kept kissing her until he slid out of her. Pulled her to her feet and shoved her against him. Kissing her repeatedly until he sighed happily.

"Ah, baby, there it is. Still cold?"

She smiled. Kissed him, arms around him. "Not at all, sweetie. Not now. Oh John..."

"Still wet, though, huh?" he asked with a leer.

Her gaze narrowed. "Hilarious, John. Still hard?" she countered.

"Always, baby, always. Bed now," he suggested. Brilliant green eyes sparkling.

She laughed. "I don't think so, sweetie."

He grinned, about to reply when a voice sounded outside the door. "Daddy? Daddy, come see! Daddy, daddy, come see!"

John sighed. "Damn it. Just a sec, junior!" He freed her. Pulled up his shorts, his pants, fixing his attire.

Moira smirked, pulled on her panties. Turned to find her bra when a hand smacked her rear. She whirled. "John Sheppard!"

He laughed. "Pert little ass, baby! Finest in the galaxy, I swear!"

She glared, pulling on her bra, a brown t-shirt. Pulled on a pair of jeans. "Fucking soldier," she teased.

He smiled. "Yeah, you just did, baby. And will again." He opened the door. "Hey, buddy."

"Daddy!" The little boy smiled, took his hand. "Come see! Come see!" He led his father to the window. Pointed. "Look!"

John looked out the window. Stared. "Crap."

Moira came up behind him. Smacked his rear. "Fine, fine six, colonel. What's the fuss?"

"Look." John pointed.

Moira stared. "Crap," she echoed, causing John to smile for a moment.

Another section of the city was tilting oddly. Heralding another disaster.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend3

Sheppard smiled. He exited his ship as it gently rocked on the blue waters. He strode up the pier, his marines at his back. A line of men stood warily, all armed. Sheppard had to give them credit. Not a one flinched or betrayed any surprise at seeing their commander's doppelganger. He paused. Waited. His marines waited behind him, forming a line.

John stepped towards him, grim-faced. Clearly disliking all of this. Richard followed behind him, staring in startled shock until he schooled his expression. The towering form of Ronon could be seen to the right. But Sheppard's gaze remained locked with John's. The battle of wills already commencing before a single word had been spoken.

"Colonel," Richard said as the two men reached Sheppard, "thank you for coming to our aid. We had expected a data burst of instructions, or even possibly Doctor McKay."

"I didn't," John noted dourly. Had known exactly what would happen. Had known this would happen, although no one had listened to him. Not even his wife.

Sheppard's gaze flicked to Richard, to John, back again. Assessing. He smiled. "It was more expedient this way. I can help you save this city, but we need to talk."

"What do you want?" John asked bluntly.

Sheppard met his gaze. "You know."

"There's no way in hell you're even getting near them," John retorted.

"Really?" Sheppard quirked a brow. "Then I guess I wasted a trip. Let's go!" he barked. The marines at his back turned as one, headed for the ship. Sheppard followed. Smiled hearing Richard call his name.

"Colonel, wait! Wait!" Richard followed. He reached out to grab Sheppard's arm. Sheppard turned. At the same time his marines whirled, all guns trained on Richard now. Faces hard, unyielding. John's men reciprocated, their weapons raised now. Richard freed Sheppard's arm. Took a prudent step back from him. "I'm sure we can come to an amicable agreement. We need your help. You need ours. We should be allies. Please, come with me and we can talk."

Sheppard glanced at John. Met Richard's gaze. "Okay. Stand down." His men lowered their guns. "My men stay here with the ship. Well? I expect the same courtesy, Johnny. After all, we are allies."

John glowered. At his gesture his men lowered their guns.

"This way," Richard directed.

Sheppard followed him into the city. A confident, almost arrogant swagger to his booted steps. John followed on his heels, noting the entirely black outfit, the handgun at his thigh, the sidearm tucked into one boot. The knife at his hip. He wondered what else his doppelganger was packing in the way of weapons. Or technology.

Sheppard glanced round the control room. Technicians stared, open-mouthed. Not as disciplined as his own, he silently noted. He eyed the consoles. Climbed the stairs after Richard, feeling a disappointment at whom he had not seen. But he would soon assuage that. He entered the conference room. Took John's usual seat at the head of the table. Lounged almost lazily in it, a parody of John's own position.

Richard sat across from him, wondering what was not being said. He glanced at the doorway. John had remained there. Remained standing, arms crossed over his chest. Ever vigilant. Gaze locked hard onto his dark side self. Richard cleared his throat, turning to Sheppard. "You've been briefed on our situation here, colonel, I have no doubt. Can you help us?"

Sheppard nodded. "Yes. My men have the necessary equipment. Interfaces to stabilize the power drain and re-route the primary systems to establish the city's integrity."

"May I ask why you didn't bring Doctor McKay?"

"No need. You already have one of your own, and I need mine to help raise my city."

"About that...what do you need?"

Sheppard smiled. Eyed John. Apparently his other self hadn't informed Woolsey about the pertinent facts. "Should I tell him, Johnny-boy, or shall I?" He looked at Richard. "I'll strike a deal, Mr. Woolsey. It will take a month to get your city completely stabilized and running without the interfaces installed. It will cost me to have my men here for that length of time but I'll consent to it."

"In exchange?" Richard asked. Suspicious.

"In exchange I need help raising my city. The Wraith are gone. What's left do not pose any kind of serious threat. I need Johnny."

"What? You need–" Richard said, glancing at John.

"No. I need Moira's son. His double..." Sheppard paused, seeing John's reaction. Realized that Woolsey did not know about the boy's double ATA gene either. "...abilities since he is stronger in the ATA," he amended. "He is very strong, as you know. And since he can't come alone of course his mother is coming with him. Moira." He savored the word. The name. The expression of pure ire on John's face. His rival's face. Having lost his Moira in his reality, having been forced to kill her at her own request he wanted another one. The same, but different. Stronger. He wanted John's.

"No."

"Fine," Richard agreed, overriding John's quiet objection. "As long as John here goes with them I see no problem."

"No." Sheppard shook his head. Shrugged almost apologetically. Almost. "You'll need him here to help with the repairs. The interfaces are keyed to my DNA. His. They are inoperable otherwise."

"You bastard," John snarled.

"Security measures," Sheppard explained, as if he hadn't heard the insult. "I've had to limit access to areas of the city for the future. His DNA. His codes. Plus you need a strong ATA to power the systems and direct the city to do what you want it to do. To reverse the destruction and initiate construction. The city can repair itself, but not without guidance. Someone to communicate with the city. So no, he stays here. That's the deal, Mr. Woolsey. You save your city. I raise mine. My men and equipment for a month. My tech and expertise. I get Moira and her son for a month. They won't be harmed in any way, I assure you. Returned in one month. You have my word on that."

"No," John said. So tightly coiled inside his fists clenched.

Sheppard ignored him. "Talk it over. Think about it. But it seems you're running out of time." He tapped his earpiece. "Understood. I've just received word Section J is about to collapse. Flooding."

"What? How could you possibly–" Richard asked even as an alarm blared. The city jolted.

"John! Richard!" Rodney shouted, bursting into the room. "Section J is experiencing catastrophic failure! Flooding is imminent! We're evacuating but the lock down is taking over the entire..." he paused, momentarily distracted by the odd scenario of two John Sheppards. But only for a moment as he had more immediate concerns. "I can't stop the secondary system collapse!"

"Use this." Sheppard pulled out an elongated device. Tossed it.

Rodney caught it. "What–"

"Lateral intermediary transfer. Should hold back the security measures long enough for you to bypass the secondary systems and get your people out of there." He looked at Richard. "Call it a measure of good faith. While I'm waiting send Moira to me. I need to talk to her."

"Hell no! There's not going to be a deal and there's no way you are ever seeing Moira, except over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged," Sheppard offered. Voice amiable.

"Enough! Rodney, go! Use that device! Page Moira to the conference room."

"What?" John spun back to Richard as Rodney hastened out of the room. "I said no!"

"We'll be right here to–"

"No, he won't. He has to initiate the device or it won't work. Did I forget to mention that?" Sheppard sat back in the chair, as if getting comfortable. "I see Moira now or the deal is off."

"Go, John. Go! I'll be right here the whole time. Go direct our teams to help in Evac Two."

"If anything happens to Moira I swear I'll–" John began to threaten.

"I just want to talk to her, Johnny-boy. Now be a good boy and do what your boss tells you."

John glowered. He eyed Richard. Left. Paused at the bottom of the stairs. Moira was crossing the control room, an expression of anxiety on her face. She stopped, reaching him.

"John."

"Woolsey's in there. Moy..." A surge of emotion blocked speech.

She touched his arm. "My John," she assured softly. Ascended the stairs.

"John! Now would be a good time before the whole city drowns!" Rodney called. "John!"

John swore under his breath. Once Moira had entered the conference room he strode to Rodney.

At Moira's entrance Sheppard moved to his feet. Silent. Staring. Moira stared back at him. At the bearded, disheveled man in black. Her husband's doppleganger. Another version of John Sheppard. Darker. Grimmer. More haggard. More ruthless. She swallowed as misgivings, as anxiety twisted her stomach. She glanced at Richard. Almost jumped as Sheppard was suddenly standing in front of her. Gaze raking over her like a man dying of thirst, staring at a glass of water that is close but still out of reach. But not for much longer.

"Moira," he finally said. Gruff voice dancing over her name. Trying to claim it. Claim her.

But Moira clasped her hands in front of her abdomen. A gesture that her husband, her John would have instantly recognized. But not this man. She met his gaze with an aloof one. Cold. "Colonel."

"You sent the message."

"To save the city."

A smile tugged at his lips for a moment. Amused at her coolness. He glanced at Richard. "Give us five."

"No."

"I need to speak to Moira privately."

"And I said no," Richard objected. He had seen the way Sheppard was looking at her. Like a predator eyes his prey. It was odd to see this man as a potential threat when he looked just like John, almost acted just like John. John, but not John. It was eerie. It was disquieting.

"Go." Moira looked at Richard. "I'll be fine. Won't I, colonel?"

"Absolutely."

"Go on, Richard. Everything's fine now. Give us five," she insisted. Knowing that whatever deal Sheppard wanted to make would hinge on this. This moment between them. In private. It had been years since she had had to deal with this version of John Sheppard, but the memories filled her mind. All of the differences between this man and her husband. Her John.

Richard stood. "I'll be right outside that door, Moira. Don't hesitate to call for help."

"I won't."

Sheppard smiled after the other man had gone. He looked at her. Silent a moment. Assessing. Enjoying her discomfort. Enjoying the mere sight of her in the flesh, living and breathing in front of him once more. "Moira. Moira, you are even more beautiful than the last time I had the pleasure of your–"

"Cut the crap, colonel. What do you want in exchange for helping us?"

"Moira. Always the scientist. Even now? Rejecting the platitudes for the cold, hard facts? Are you the obedient little wife and mother now, Moira? Obeying your husband. Looking after your son. Kept on such a tight, tight leash you cannot even remember the last time you engaged in any truly scientific research?"

"You only have five, colonel," she reminded. Ignoring his taunts. His tests. His mockery.

He sobered. Disappointed at her lack of reaction. But enjoying the game nonetheless. "You. Your son. A month. I leave my men here to save your city. You and your son raise mine."

"John will never agree to that," she commented. Keeping in her own consternation.

"No, he won't," Sheppard agreed. "But you will."

Moira felt a chill. "Why?"

"Because in doing so you will not only save your city. You will also save John."


	4. Chapter 4

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend4

John's fingers flew over the consoles. "There!"

"Not yet. Keep your hand on the device!" Rodney ordered. "I'm keying in the sequences now with the ones you input. Power is leveling out against the self-preservation responses of the city and engineered by your own genetic codes and ATA to override the automatic drives and divert the power up instead of down."

"What?" John asked, shaking his head.

"Just keep your hand there!"

John sighed. "All teams, report! Evac Two is now in effect. Report!"

"Colonel! Evac progressing as fast as we can. Water is at our knees but has stopped," Evan reported breathlessly.

"Keep going. Get everyone out of there! Rodney?"

"Forty percent," Rodney read the screen. "And I've managed to lock out one area. It's stabilizing for now, but it won't last." The city jolted. "John, concentrate! Part of the interface is neurological, along with your gene! The city wants to initiate another destruct sequence so you have it convince it not to! Or rather I will input these codes and guide it not to."

"Whatever, just get it fixed, would you?" John snapped. He tried to concentrate. To not keep glancing up at the closed door. The conference room where his wife was. With his darker self. He subsumed his worry, his anger. Focused on saving a section of the city.

Moira stared. Heart hammering. For a wild moment thinking that Sheppard had some cure to neutralize the piggyback gene that had invaded John's system. It had been dormant for years now, but it still posed a potential threat. She realized he knew nothing about that. Frowned. "Your men," she accused.

Sheppard nodded. "One word from me and you lose John. Simple as that." He snapped his fingers. "So you and your son will come with me to raise the city. I promise neither of you will be harmed. You have my word, Moira." He touched her arm. "And nothing will happen to John."

She drew back from him. "You...you are nothing like him..."

He shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. That's the deal, Moira. Take it or leave it. Either your city sinks. John dies. Or you and your son come with me now. Your city survives, as does John." He took a seat. "I can wait. But you can't."

Moira sighed. Took the seat across from him. "What would we have to do?"

"Help me interlock the components. Convince the city that it wants to rise. It's like a living thing, Moira. Responding to the ATA gene like the body responds to the brain. Surely your son has told you something like that. For the doubles the city is alive, Moira. My technicians can shore up the power supply requirements and Rodney can stabilize the interfaces. But the ATA...that is the heart of the city."

John freed the device. Flexed his hand, his fingers. "Well?"

"All secure now. Evac Two is in effect, sir!"

"Stable for now, but it won't hold. Sheppard was right," Rodney informed.

"Great. We just need a few more oh fuck!" John had glanced up at the conference room. Had seen Richard standing outside the closed door. Leaving Moira alone with his darker self. John whirled. He sprinted up the stairs, two at a time. Shoved past a startled Richard and burst into the room. Just as Sheppard was talking.

"...and they work as draft animals but they couldn't be considered domesticated by any means. The development of their tusks makes them particularly suited to–"

"Moira, no!" John stared. They were sitting across from each other. As if it was nothing extraordinary for her to be sitting across from him. Just having a normal conversation with her husband's evil twin. John placed a hand on her shoulder. "Go."

Moira stood.

"Yes, we should be going before your city sinks entirely. Mr. Woolsey, Moira and I have brokered a deal amenable to both sides," Sheppard stated as Richard entered the room. He stood. "I'll notify my men to unload the equipment and give McKay the data he'll need for it." He eyed Moira. "In ten. The pier." He exited the room. Richard followed.

John turned to Moira. "What did you do?" he asked, voice low. "No. Hell no!"

Moira touched his arm. Eyes glinting with tears. "There's no other way, John. Trust me."

"Trust you? There's no other way? No, Moira, no!" He pulled her into a rough embrace. "I'm not losing you," he vowed fiercely.

"You won't, sweetie. We have to save the city."

"No. Not this way. Any other way, not this."

"There is no other way."

"Moira, please, you can't." His voice almost broke. Memories of a nightmare flitting, half-remembered.

Moira kissed him. "Trust me, John, just trust me. I love you."

John felt himself caught in a nightmare. A horrible sense of deja vu filled him. He had seen this before, a glimpse of the future. Then as now he was helpless to resist it, to alter it. He watched the two teams of marines unloading equipment from the exotic ship. His arm firmly around Moira's waist as she held her son's hand.

Johnny was staring at the other John Sheppard in amazement. Uncle Rod had told him about alternate universes but he had never understood. Until now. He scooted closer to his father. John touched the boy's shoulder, as if sensing his need for reassurance.

"I...I can't do this."

Moira turned as John freed her. "John? No, no, we have to–"

"Fuck no, Moy." He strode to his doppelganger. "Stop! Deal's off, colonel!"

Sheppard eyed him. "Is it? I don't think so, Johnny-boy. You–"

John swung his fist at his darker self. It connected with a crack.

"John!" Moira cried, but Sheppard took the blow, almost anticipated it. He swung one of his own, connecting. Marines intercepted. Sheppard's men hauling John away, beating him themselves with a cruel relish that made Moira grab her son and turn him away so he wouldn't see. "Stop! Stop!"

"Enough!" Richard shouted. "We'll do it!"

John lifted his head. Pain lacerated his body. Tasting blood he spat. Struggled to his feet but was slammed down onto his knees. He fought anyway.

"No, John, John, please! John!" Moira was fighting as men were dragging her and Johnny away.

Richard tried to intervene. "Stop this! You have to go, Moira. There's no other way!"

Moira hugged Johnny to her, turning as she was suddenly freed. Saw Sheppard watching. Waiting. "You...you will spare him if I go? If I go?"

"Yes. My word," he rasped.

Ronon was charging ahead but the marines were faster. Shoving back the strangers and pulling John out from them. Restraining him as he tried to lunge for his doppleganger, not caring anymore about the deal or the consequences.

"No, Moira no!" John pleaded, was slammed down again. This time by his own men as the other marines moved away from him at Sheppard's silent order. His own men were holding him back, keeping him from her. From his wife. From his son. He met Moira's tearful, sad face.

"John, no! Stop! There's no other way!" Moira cried. Suddenly found herself being pushed towards the ship by Sheppard's men.

"Don't you touch her!" Ronon bellowed, but guns were raised. A shot fired in the air.

"Stop!" Richard raised his hand. "I'm sorry, John, there's no other way. Moira."

Moira drew her son with her, walking past the men. "John! John!"

"Moira, no! Moira!" he croaked, held down, held back by his own men.

Moira looked at him, face sad. "I'm sorry, John. I made the deal. To save the city. To save you."

"Me? I..."

She moved to Sheppard, leading the little boy. He looked back at his father, face pinched in uncertainty. In fear. "Daddy? Daddy?"

Sheppard wiped the blood off his lip. Drew her to the ship. Gestured for his men to lower their weapons. But Moira stopped.

"No, colonel."

"No? It's a little too late for that, Moira," he chided.

"Johnny's not coming with us."

"I need him."

"No, you don't." She paused. Finding it awkward to tell this man when she hadn't even had time to tell her husband yet. "I'm pregnant."

John struggled. "Let go of me, damn you! He's not taking my wife and son! He's not taking my family!" His glare hit the men restraining him. Hit Ronon as he was being held back as well. Hit Richard as he was shaking his head, allowing no one to intervene.

"Only for a month, John. To save countless lives. I'm sorry," Richard consoled, baffled by John's passion, his vehemence. "There's no other way."

"To hell with the city and with you!"

"Moira made the decision, John. You need to accept that and what she is doing to save us."

"She had no choice! She's doing it to save me! Me! Let go of me! Moira!"

Sheppard eyed her up and down. Took out a scanner. Made a noise as it confirmed her words. At his sound she said, "yes. I have the double. I can do whatever you need, and much better than Johnny could. Please. Please, you don't need him." She touched his arm. "Please, John. He's just a little boy. Don't take him from his home. From his father. He's only a little boy. Please, John," she whispered.

Sheppard stared at her. Considered. Glanced down at the little boy. Back at her. Hating John in that moment. Hating what he had. What he himself would never have. At least not with Moira. He would never have her love. Her trust. Her body. Children by her. A son. A baby on the way. At best he was only borrowing. It wasn't the same as having. It made him bitter. Angry. He almost hated Moira and the child. But he focused on the mission. On what he could have. Could have if only temporarily. What he could do with Moira without the hindrance of a child.

He curtly nodded.

"Thank you," she whispered. Knelt to her son. "Johnny." She kissed him. "Darling, everything's fine. Don't you worry. Mommy has to go help some people for a little while. I need you to look after daddy for me, okay? Help him fix the city."

"The city sick, mommy," the child gravely informed.

"I know, darling. But you can fix it with daddy and Uncle Rodney. I love you, Johnny." She kissed him again. "Now go to daddy. Tell him mommy has a baby. Can you remember that? Tell daddy that mommy has a baby."

"Mommy? Mommy don't have baby," the child reasoned.

"Doesn't," Sheppard absently corrected.

Moira glanced up at him, startled. John would do that as well, in the same amused tone. She looked back at her son. "Just tell him, darling. I love you, Johnny. Go on now."

"Okay, mommy." He smiled at her. Scampered towards his father.

Moira stood, fighting tears. Despair.

"Let's go, Moira." His tone was almost gentle. Almost as he guided her into the ship. "For you, Moira, I will make this compromise. But if you aren't strong enough I will come back for him."

"Daddy! Daddy!" the little boy ran towards his father.

John struggled. "Let go of me, damn you!" He wrenched himself free, staggered to his feet and ran to his son. Fell to his knees to embrace the child. "Johnny! Johnny, are you okay?"

"Daddy! Daddy got hurt!" the boy pouted, touched his father's bruised jaw.

"I'm fine, son. Don't you worry. How–"

"Mommy. Mommy said she has baby. But mommy don't have baby."

"Doesn't," John absently corrected. He stood, lifted the child to his arms. Watched as the ship descended into the waters. A well of despair opened up in him. "She has a baby...she...she sent you back because she's pregnant and has the double again..." he realized. He watched the ship disappear. Taking his wife from him. But not his son.

Her words echoed back to him, when they had discussed this nightmare. The nightmare he had been having, glimpses of this very scenario, over and over. _"I won't take your son from you, John. I will never take your son from you," _she had assured him. And she hadn't.

Rodney stepped next to him. "We'll get her back, John, I promise!"

"We honor the agreement," Richard said, standing on John's other side. "Our first duty is to save our city and our people. Despite the differences I believe that the colonel is an honorable man, when he gives his word. He's you, right, well, a version of you. Leaving his men and his equipment here was an act of faith. Moira going with him was ours. Besides, can you even open the anomaly at this end long enough to get a ship through it?"

"No. The equations are too complex and the power fluctuations impossible to predict, plus I'm sure Sheppard had my counterpart put in place safeguards to prevent such a thing."

But John saw Rodney's eye twitch. A telltale sign the scientist was lying. A glimmer of hope surfaced amid his gloom. He realized Rodney would find a way around all of that. A way to get through the anomaly. A way to rescue Moira before the allotted time was up.

And John would bring her back. Back home.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend5

_Two weeks later..._

Moira woke. She was snuggled up against Sheppard's back. Snuggled under the pile of blankets on the small bed. She stared for a moment, reluctant to leave the warmth. Telling herself she was only trying to keep warm, to keep the baby inside her warm. But she knew it was more than that. Knew she needed the feel of John Sheppard in bed with her to feel safe, secure. Even if this John Sheppard wasn't hers. Wasn't her husband.

She sat. Stared round the room. The cold air hit her like a slap. She slipped out of the bed. Slid her feet into a pair of slippers. She hastened across the room, hugging herself against the cold. Sheppard had given her one of his old t-shirts to wear to bed but it wasn't enough against the chill of the morning. She moved into the tiny bathroom. Sat near the toilet and waited, touching her abdomen. Waiting for the inevitable queasiness to hit like it did every morning.

John woke. Instantly he was awake, alert. He sat. Glanced next to him, hand sliding across the blankets to feel Moira. But his fingers encountered the form of his son. Realization crashed in on him, like it did every morning. He sighed, looked at the sleeping child. Buried in the blankets, clutching a plush toy mammoth that actually belonged to his mother but which he had requisitioned as his own.

He stole out of the bed, careful not to wake his son. Crossed the room. The floor was cold under his bare feet. He paused by the table, flipped up the data screen. Powered it. His fingers danced across the keyboards. Reviewing a schematic of the city. Of where they would have to work today to restore the integrity of all systems. To help the city heal itself. He rubbed his eyes. Thinking, as always about Moira. Worrying about her. Wondering. Trying to keep the anger, the anxiety submerged for the sake of his son. For himself.

Sheppard woke. Sat, feeling the absence of Moira. Waited. Every morning the sounds of her retching would awaken him. But now the silence had. He tensed, but knew she was in the bathroom. Could see the shadow of her form across the floor as the weak sunlight penetrated the window high in the wall. At the continued silence a smile formed. He got out of the bed. Crossed to the doorway. She was sitting near the toilet, gaze locked on nothing, one hand at her abdomen. "Moira?"

His voice startled her. She looked up at him. The long, lean form in a gray t-shirt and pajama pants. Feet bare. In the weak light she could almost think he was her John, her husband. Except for the beard. Except for the predatory gleam in his green eyes replacing the concern. "Fine."

"No sickness this morning?"

She moved to her feet. Keeping her hand over her abdomen as if she would shield the baby from him. "No. We need to get to work." She turned away from him. Turned on the faucet and washed her face, ignoring him.

Sheppard smiled. Pleased she wasn't sick. Amused at her aloofness. He could still feel the imprint of her pressing on his back. All curves and softness his for the taking. But there was no need to rush. He had time. Time to woo and cajole her. He touched her shoulder. "In ten, Moira. We leave in ten."

Johnny woke. "Mommy?" He sat, clutching the stuffed toy to him. Pouted. Mommy wasn't home yet. But he heard daddy in the bathroom. He relaxed. "Daddy?" he called.

"Come on in, sport!" John called, drying his hands. He turned, smiled as the little boy scampered into the bathroom. Grabbed his leg and clung, staring up at him.

"Daddy, daddy! What we do today?"

John smiled. "First we need to get you dressed, captain. What do you want to wear?" he asked, touching the little boy's arm. He was clad in his elephant pajamas.

"You! I wanna dress like you, daddy!" the child decided, eying his father's black t-shirt and blue BDU pants.

"Okay, Johnny." He lifted the child to his arms, kissed him. "We need to work in Section G today. Sound good?"

"Good, daddy!" The little boy held onto him, resting his head on John's broad shoulder. "Daddy, daddy, when mommy home?"

John inwardly sighed. Glanced in the mirror. Saw his son's pout. "Soon, buddy, I promise." He carried the child out of the bathroom. "Now let's get you dressed, grab some breakfast and help the city. Okay, Johnny? Then we can play catch."

"Okay, daddy. We fix city."

Moira stared. Even after two weeks the sight was amazing to her. The ship effortlessly submerged. Waters closing over the vehicle in a blue-green wave. The shield protecting them, insulating them from the wet and the cold. Ironically it was warmer in the ship than on the mainland, and Moira wondered if she could sleep in the ship for a change. A smile tugged, but dissolved.

They descended into the darkness. But lights flared from the Jumper and illuminated the watery depths. The countless denizens of the ocean flitted past them. Huge fish. Eels. A shark or two. A school of silver fins and scales that parted for the ship in a flurry of panic. A fantastic coral formation came into view. Vivid orange and pink as the ship's light scoured it. An octopus darted in front of them.

The city came into view. It was huge, encompassing miles and miles as it rested at an angle at the bottom of the sea. The shield loomed over it, a pink glow that attracted all kinds of marine life. Atlantis appeared like a giant jellyfish blooming in the darkness of the ocean. Tentacles of the city spreading outwards from the central core. The damage could be seen. Destroyed turrets. Structures split in half. But systems were being stabilized. Power slowly was being shunted to each affected area needing repair before the city could rise. Rodney was working feverishly to override the failsafes. One by one. It was delicate work. Slow, tedious work.

Sheppard was watching Moira. Having piloted the ship to this destination every day, every week he could do it blindfolded now. Instead he watched her. She looked like she belonged here. Clad in the simple gray uniform they all wore, except for him. Her long hair braided in a tight ponytail that his fingers itched to unwind, strand by strand. It was one of their rituals now and he savored it every night. He guided the ship to the extended pier. Soon he would be savoring more than Moira's tresses. He needed more. Wanted more. Patiently waiting as they worked together all day. Patiently waiting as they slept together all night, but only slept. So far.

He transmitted a code, slowing the ship's approach. An answering code was received. He eased the ship forward, towards the shield. Into the shield now, penetrating safely. Colors flickered as energy met energy. Fluctuated. Once the ship was safely cocooned the shield closed behind it. Sheppard directed the vehicle through the water, then up out of it to smoothly land in the bay. Other ships were parked there. He powered down. Sat a moment.

Moira unstrapped herself from the seat. Stood. Waited. Finally looked at him. "John?" she asked.

He licked his lips. Unbuckled. Stood. Touched her arm in passing. "Fifty percent today. All right?"

"Yes." The sooner the city could rise the sooner she could go home. To her son. To her husband. But she had doubts. Pushed them aside along with the constant ache of missing son and husband. Both were safe in their Atlantis and that was all that mattered. She followed Sheppard out of the ship, across the bay. Silent.

Wordlessly a technician handed Sheppard a data pad. He took it. Perused it. Tapped his earpiece. "McKay. Level Two?"

"John, yes. Section E," McKay's voice answered. Sounding weary.

"Copy that." He handed the pad back to the deferential technician. Glanced at Moira and led her to a transporter. They emerged into a swarm of activity. Technicians and marines all bustling over equipment. Power surged and fell. A ZPM was glowing, another attached to it. McKay was in the middle of it all, gesturing and ordering like a general. Seeing them he paused. Smiled at Moira. "Good. You're here early. This console to start." He pointed at it. "The grounding station needs to be secured next. Reversal code of–"

"031547 to 745130 yeah, we got it, McKay," Sheppard grumbled. "Section E, right?"

"Yes. Moira, how do you feel?"

Moira shrugged. Still finding it odd to see this Rodney McKay with a beard. "Fine. Not so bad today."

"Good. Don't overtax yourself like you did last time. You need to–"

"She knows what she needs to do," Sheppard interjected. Guiding her to the console. "We don't need a babysitter!" He smiled. "At least not yet." He stood next to her. Initiated the power with a touch. "Are you okay, Moira?" he asked quietly. Glancing at her again.

"Fine."

He smirked at her tone. Admiring how she was holding all of it together. But he knew she was near the breaking point. Anticipated it. He took her hand, held it to the interface. "Here we go, Moira. You need to–"

She freed her hand from his, pressed it to the console. "I know what to do!" she snapped.

Sheppard merely smiled.

Johnny walked through the city of Atlantis. He had a firm grip of his father's hand as he stared round. The city was alive to him, a viable entity. But ailing. Recovering thanks to that other man who had looked like daddy, had sounded like daddy but wasn't daddy. The man who had taken mommy away but only for a little while. Mommy had promised to come back soon and Johnny had believed her. But he missed her terribly.

He spent most of his time with daddy as he inspected the repairs, tested security measures and helped Uncle Rod where he could. He spoke a little to Mr. Woolsey. Everyone thought that Mr. Woolsey was in charge of the city but Johnny knew better. Knew his father was really in charge. Even the city knew. The way the marines obeyed his every word, even the stranger ones. The way the technicians quailed under his glare. The way the scientists deferred to him. Except for Uncle Rod but that was okay because he was daddy's friend. Uncle Rod was teaching him how to use his double ATA to help cure the city. But sometimes daddy would stop him. Daddy was very strict about what he could touch and not touch. Stricter even than mommy was.

Johnny sighed, chewed his lower lip a moment. He missed mommy. Uncle Cars would tell him stories, marvels about a place called Scotland, but it wasn't the same as when mommy told him stories of mastodons and mammoths. Uncle Roe was a little scary, but he could hoist Johnny up so high, higher even than daddy could. But it wasn't the same as when mommy would hold him up to see the views from the balcony. Uncle Evan was helping him learn to draw after daddy had said to make pictures for mommy when she came home. But it wasn't the same as when mommy would help him color in one of his books and make him laugh at green elephants and blue tigers.

Aunt Teyla tried to play with him but he didn't like her. There was something about her that made him uncomfortable, bothered him. He didn't know what it was but felt it all the same. Aunt Katie was warm and soft but always sad. Not as warm and soft as mommy, or as comforting. So he stayed with daddy most of the time, or with his uncles. Trying to imitate his father. Trying to be brave and not to cry. Waiting and waiting for his mommy to return.

John paused, halting his son. "Hang on a sec, junior." He tapped his earpiece, looking down the corridor. "Rodney? I thought Section H was secure."

"It is, John, I just–"

"Then why is it tilting?" John snapped, as the corridor's floor buckled under his boots slightly. "Check the scans again!" He hoisted his son to his arms. "Here we go, captain."

"Daddy, daddy, the city sick."

"I know, captain. We'll make it all better, I promise." He turned, headed the other way.

"Daddy, daddy, when mommy home?"

John gritted his teeth, his heart against the constant question. Gave the constant answer. "Soon, buddy, I promise. Here we go." He entered a room. Power flared at his touch. "Rodney, copy? I'm running the back-up scans now...the interface is scrambled somehow."

"Then fix it! I've got half a dozen systems simultaneously trying to reboot!" came the irascible voice.

John quirked a smile. Sat in the chair, set his son on his lap. "Fine. Engaging code 69714."

"No, daddy! 69712!"

"Oh? Okay, son. Thanks. 69712. Engaged."

"Yes, listen to the kiddo there! He knows more than you do!" Rodney snapped, but smiled. "Johnny, you help your father fix this, okay?"

"Okay, Uncle Rod!"

John shook his head. Touched the device. It was molded to his hand, fitting perfectly. He flexed his fingers. "Here we go, Johnny. Help daddy now."

The little boy touched his father's hand. Touched the console. Power flared dramatically. Lights flashing. Data scrolling. John closed his eyes, felt the weird interface of machine and his brain. He directed his thoughts to the ballasts. Closing the breeches. Summoning the broken parts of the city home to be mended . To be whole. Reversing the self-destruction sequences. Colors flared in his mind. "Rodney?"

"Wow...even after all this time the kid's mojo is still amazing! Getting the coordinates...power accumulating...attaching the discs..." Rodney's fingers flew over the controls. "Initiating sequences in three. Two. One." A jolt hit the city. Then another, gentler now, like a ship docking itself to a pier. "Attached! Good job, kiddo! Oh, you too, John."

"Gee, thanks, Rodney," John quipped. Guiding the power down now. "Okay, junior." He felt the little hand free his. Felt a little hand touching his jaw.

"Daddy, daddy got hurt."

John opened his eyes, freed his hand from the device to see his son staring at him. Big blue eyes full of worry. "I'm fine, son. Don't you worry now."

"Daddy, daddy got hurt," he repeated sadly. Touching the healing bruises. Inflicted by his darker self. By the men supposedly helping them repair the city but really ensuring John's compliance to the deal as well. Preventing him from doing anything rash.

"Hey, hey, buddy, I'm fine. Easy, Johnny. There's no need to cry." He hugged his son, kissed the child's brow. "I'm fine, buddy. It's all right."

"Daddy, daddy got hurt by bad man. Bad men. Bad daddy do."

"Yeah. No. He's not daddy, son. Just me. Do you understand?" He eased the child back to view his face. "Hell, er, heck, it's hard for me to understand this alternate reality universe crap, er, stuff. It's not me. I'm me."

"Yes, daddy. I know."

"You know?" John smiled at his son's serious gaze. "And how do you come to understand parallel universes? Huh?"

"Uncle Rod told me. He, he said it story."

"Like a story? How so?"

"He, he say like when mommy tell story. Then daddy tell story but it not same way, same ending. Then Uncle Rod tell story but it not like that either. It not same. But is same."

"Ah. Different versions of the same basic story. Not a bad explanation, really. Good old Uncle Rodney."

"Daddy, daddy, when mommy home?"

John sighed. Stood, carrying the child in his arms. "Soon, son, I promise. Now let's finish this section and then we can play catch. Does that sound like fun?"

"Yes, daddy! Catch is fun!"


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend6

Moira concentrated. Hands on the controls as she leaned slightly over the console. Feeling the power building, building. Refining. Responding to her touch, her thoughts. Lights blazed but she didn't see them. Her eyes were closed as she directed the power. The double ATA gave her incredible control. Gave her a virtual palette on which to work. She could easily destroy the city's inner workings. Render it helpless, immobile. Alternately she could restore it. Piece by piece by piece until it was ready to rise. She did neither, waiting for Sheppard to aid her. Not wanting to place any strain on the baby she was carrying.

She felt Sheppard right behind her now. Body brushing hers. Hands on hers. The power flared wildly. Like a song rising and rising. He directed the power, his thoughts guiding hers, his body guiding hers as he moved slightly. To make the connections as McKay inputted the codes. Powered the ZPM to full capacity. Helping convince the city to rise. To heal. Arguing with it like a living thing. Not in words so much as emotions, equations.

"Steady, steady," McKay said through the comm, monitoring them across the room. "Section is interlocking now...steady, steady...power levels are gaining. Forty-six. Forty-eight. Fifty! Fifty-two! Ballasts one and two are engaged! Locking down the grids!"

The city lurched, rocked but the power hummed. Sang to Moira as she held onto the device, her hands pinned under Sheppard's. She wondered if it felt like this to her son, the rush of power, of response from the city as it was indeed alive. Suddenly the power calmed. Slowly ebbed as Sheppard shifted along her body again. "Easy now, Moira. We don't want to get all hot and bothered for nothing now."

She ignored his comment. Straightened as he freed her hands. Stepped away from her and to McKay. She turned, flexing her hands. Leaning on a chair, exhausted.

"Excellent!" McKay's eyes were beaming as he met Sheppard's. "It's incredible, John! Like a living ZPM, only with intelligence! In a few days we will be able to engage fully. Do you know that means?"

"We can raise the city," Sheppard realized. Glanced at Moira who was watching them. He saw her surprise, her hope. Had to quash it. "But we still need another week to establish full viability." He saw the hope fade in her. Like a flower wilting. Turned back to McKay. "Keep the logs running. I want a full security sweep per SOP every hour. And if you can get the long-range scanners working that would be good too." He moved to a group of men who were waiting near the doorway. Heavily armed.

Moira swallowed nervously. Moved to McKay as he ran the scans. "Rodney? Why would you need to do that? Aren't the Wraith gone?"

"Not entirely. And no...it's not the Wraith that we fear now." He met her gaze, debating. "Moira, you...you've been good for him. I mean, just by being here...he's...he's more like he used to be, you know...before..."

"Before he killed this version's Moira?" she asked quietly. Glanced to see Sheppard giving orders. Voice stern. Serious. She looked back at McKay.

McKay nodded. "Yes. Before that. And after...when you left him the first time. It's like what we're doing here, Moira. You are restoring pieces of him as we are restoring pieces of the city. Making him whole, in a way."

She stared. "If you are asking me to stay you know that is impossible! I need to return to my son and my husband. My life."

"I know. I'd never even suggest that you stay here, Moira," McKay soothed. Touched her hand for a moment as it rested on the console. "I'm just saying...I guess I'm saying thank you. For restoring John as well as the city. No one else could have."

"I...I don't know what to say to that," she admitted. Uncomfortable. A host of emotions swirling, contradicting.

"Don't know what to say to what?" Sheppard asked, coming up beside her now. Looking from one to the other expectantly.

She turned to him. "This new threat. If not the Wraith, then what? John?"

He glanced at McKay, suspicious, but the scientist was busily working on the console. He took Moira's arm. "Let's go. I can tell you over dinner. In fact I'd like to show you one of these things. Frankly we have no idea what it is, and as we are lacking in scientists now maybe you can help us with identification."

"Things?" she asked, walking with him. "What does that mean, things?"

"You'll see. After we rest and eat. SOP after the work," he reminded.

"John, um...couldn't we stay here? In the city, I mean."

"No. It's not safe enough yet."

"But surely we could stay one night, couldn't we? It's...it's too cold on the mainland," she complained.

He met her gaze, smiled. "Don't worry, Moira. I'll find a way to keep you warm. Now let's go."

John crossed the control room. Ronon and Evan flanked him. He glanced round. Saw the ever-present men from the alternate universe watching him. Always watching him. Dour, grim men. Helping with the repairs but they always had eyes on him. He halted near the console where Rodney was inputting codes. Radek Zelenka was next to him, nervously glancing at the watching men. At John's own men watching the other men. All bore guns. It made him nervous. "Status?"

"Holding," Rodney answered without looking up at him. "So far. We're closer, John. We're closer to establishing full recovery. I think we it will be safe enough to remove the foreign interfaces in a day or so, and let the city handle all of the power requirements on its own."

"Good. The sooner we are up and running the better," John muttered. Glanced round. "Where–"

"Hi daddy!" Johnny popped up from under the console, smiled. "Uncle Rod play hide and seek with me!"

"Oh. Good. Did you find him? He's right there," John pointed.

Johnny laughed. A joyful sound amid the stern silence. "He find me, daddy!"

"Oh, I see. Okay. Carry on, junior. Daddy's almost done with the security sweep." He met Rodney's gaze a moment. Turned. "Let's move out!" he barked. "Two teams! Level Three, all areas! Then Level Two. Move out!" He turned again. Voice gentling. "Johnny, keep an eye on Uncle Rodney for me. And don't let him eat all the pudding this time!"

Johnny giggled. "Okay, daddy! I do it!"

"Good little solider! Let's move!" He gestured with his P90. The men parted, heading into two groups compromised of both those who belonged and those who didn't. At a nod Evan headed for one group. "Ronon."

Ronon paused as they entered the hallway. "Sheppard? Now?"

"No. Not yet. Not until I give the word. Go."

"John, may I have a word?"

John turned. Nodded and waited for Richard to join him. Ronon headed for the second group of marines. "Well?"

"We're almost there, John. I just wanted to say...I just wanted to say thank you."

"For?" John asked, trying to curb in his anger. Disdain.

"For cooperating fully. For not rushing off on some doomed heroic effort. For not rescinding the deal. I'm sure she's fine, John. He needs her as much as we need his men here, and within two weeks it will all be over. I wish it could have been any other way, but you have to understand it was the only way. To save our city. To save both cities. And the countless lives that depend upon them. Moira knew. That's why she made the choice, that's why she agreed–"

"She agreed to save me," John curtly corrected.

"To save...I don't understand?"

"No, you don't. But I do. I understand all too well, Mr. Woolsey, what happened here, and I promise you it will never happen again. Now, I need to make sure all areas are cleared of flooding and are working properly." He turned, stomped down the hallway, trying to ignore the inevitable bodyguard behind him.

Sheppard took another bite of the meat, pointed with his fork. "We don't even have a name for them. Butt-ugly is what my men call them. I have to agree. As you can see they have some sort of interface with a machine...but they are organic as far as I can tell. We've only encountered them sporadically but without the city we are sitting ducks."

Moira set aside her own fork, stared at the footage on the data screen as they sat in the mess hall on the mainland. The alien was humanoid. Big. Bald. A gray hue, the skin stretched tightly over a larger skull with a protruding brow ridge. A red implant was in its head, above one eye. "I have no idea. I have never seen anything like this back home."

"Have you ever seen that?" Sheppard pointed at the weird marking on the heavy armor the alien wore. "It's on their ships too. We've tracked them to the outer regions and beyond."

"No." She frowned. "I've never seen anything like that either. A new invasion force?"

"Possibly. We've had no communication. A few run-ins ship to ship and one beamed onto one of ours. Didn't say much. Didn't say anything, actually."

"Do you have any tissue samples?"

"Negative. It had a self-destruct. We had to jettison the corpse before it blew half of the ship with it. Obviously not human, not even close. Right?"

"Yes. But humanoid. From a different galaxy, perhaps?" She shut off the data pad. Took a sip of water. "And there's no mention of them in the Ancient data base?"

"None." He shrugged. "I hope you don't encounter them in your reality, Moira."

"I hope not too. We have our hands full with the Wraith."

Sheppard stood. Took the data pad. "Let's go. I'll take you to our room and then I need to do a perimeter sweep before bed."

She stood. "Okay." She followed him out of the mess hall. A wind was blowing. It tasted of snow. She shivered, quickly walking next to him, using him as a shield against the weather. "John, are you sure we can't stay in the city tonight?"

He smiled. "I'm sure. Here. I'll be back ASAP, Moira." He guided her into the hut and was gone, swallowed by the night.

John tugged at his t-shirt's collar. It was hot in the lower levels. Humid. Power had been restored but not all of the systems were functioning. He opened a panel, adjusted some crystals. Closed it as the lights became stronger. He looked round the corridor. Saw the men checking each room. The floor was steady. The floor was dry. He glanced at the men Sheppard had left. They were doing the same as his own men. Were virtually indistinguishable except for their black on black uniforms. Their grim expressions. The way they would watch him.

He could only guess at their instructions. Their orders. He frowned. Hating them. Wanting them gone. Wanting all of them gone, except for the few he could trust. Even his own men were suspect now. After what had happened. He strode along the corridor, entered a room. A lab. He moved to the consoles, testing them. Feeling the city humming to life under his feet, under his touch. It seemed more alive, somehow. Especially when Johnny touched the panels.

He wiped his brow, feeling his t-shirt sticking to his lean frame. Rivulets of sweat were sliding down his neck, his back. He wished Rodney would fix the temperature next. Wondered if his son could. Recalled that Moira had been able to do that in their room when she had been pregnant with Johnny. Moira. He shunted all thoughts of her aside. Frowning.

"Sir? This level is secure," Evan reported. Stood next to him as data was flowing across a screen until John shut it down. "Sir?"

"Fine. We need to check Level Three next, then we can call it a night."

Evan glanced round. "Sir, there's been some talk."

"Talk?" John asked, eyes on the console as he decreased the power on it. He pulled free the interface with a tug.

"Yes, colonel. About the, the others."

"And?" John asked, sounding disinterested. He looked at the console again.

"You need only say the word, sir, and we will take them out."

John smiled. "Good to know, major. But not yet. Not yet."

"Moira."

"Yes."

"Understood." Evan turned. "I think we're done here, sir."

John turned as well to see a man watching them. "Yeah, I think we are, major. Let's head out to Level Three. Where it will be even hotter."


	7. Chapter 7

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend7

Moira was cold. It was always cold on the mainland. The makeshift Quonset hut wasn't built for comfort. Or for warmth. She stood near a table, eying the data pad. It displayed a map of the city of Atlantis. Most sections were highlighted in green. Recovered areas, powered and restored. Fully functional. She chewed on her lower lip eying the areas in blue. The areas left that needed to be operational before the city could rise. Only two sections remained.

"Flower."

She started at Sheppard's voice, not having heard him enter. She glanced at him. Glanced again, startled. He had shaved his beard. His resemblance to her husband that much closer, that much more unsettling. She looked at the data pad. "What?"

He smiled, having seen her reaction. "The schematics. Like a flower. Each petal a piece of the city."

"Oh."

"Each one unfolding to our control," he continued, suddenly behind her. His voice was warm in her ear. "Yielding to our desire. Each petal unfolding, allowing entrance. Full penetration of our systems."

Moira frowned at the obvious innuendo as his arms encircled her. Drew her close. "I see."

"I knew that you would, Moira," he agreed. "Tonight."

She caught his arms, freeing herself. Turned to him. "Tonight? You...you...you..."

"I've been patient, Moira. Patient while you were sick every morning. Patient through your exhaustion and my own. You knew it would come to this. Don't pretend you didn't."

She sighed. "I...fine." She knew it was pointless to argue. To plead or to become angry or to cry. She moved to the bed. Sat. Waited. Forlorn. Resigned.

Sheppard smiled. Moved to sit next to her. Touched her arms and turned her away from him. He removed his boots. Dropped them to the floor. "Tell me, Moira..." he said, almost lazily as he caught her ponytail. Freed it from the confining band and began to unbraid the long, brown strands.

"Tell you what?" she asked tersely. Despite herself his fingers were alluring. Gentle. His warmth inviting. John but not John. She had known it would come to this, he was correct. Had hoped to avoid it but knew it was impossible.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he suggested. He ran his fingers through her loose hair. Ran his mouth up her throat. "Turn to me, Moira."

She did so. Swallowed. His close resemblance to her husband throwing her off-balance, just as he knew it would. He slowly unzipped her jacket. Slid his hands into it to cup her breasts against the gray shirt. He kissed her. A slow, savoring kiss. Tasting. Exploring. His tongue darted into her mouth but she drew back, startled. Uncertain. "You, you really want to know?"

He pulled the jacket off her. "Yes. Get undressed." He stood. Pulled off his jacket. His shirt. Stood and watched her as she stared. Brown eyes widening at the sight of the scars marring him. Old injuries healed. "Moira."

His tone was stern. She swallowed. Removed her shoes. Stood and gently touched his chest. Ran her fingers through his chest hair. Along a scar left by a Wraith attack. Down to his waist where another scar marred him. "I..."

"You're wondering if he'll forgive you, is that it?" Sheppard asked, enjoying her touches. Enjoying her hesitation. Wanting her. He caught her hand. Drew it away from him. Undid his pants, gaze raking over her. Up and down. Up and down. "He did the last time."

Moira felt a shiver, but it wasn't from the cold. The raw hunger in Sheppard's green eyes gave her pause. "And he will this time. I know that."

"Oh?"

He seemed to be waiting, hands on his pants now. She bit her lower lip. Sighed and pulled off her shirt, turning away from him. She undid her pants. Paused, hearing him unzip his. "Yes." She yanked them off, scrambled into the bed still in her underwear. The sheets were cold. Ice cold and she shivered again. "John, John, please...you don't have to do this."

Sheppard smiled. Chuckled as he removed his pants. "Evidently I do. I really do," he quipped. "Obviously," he added as his shorts were tenting towards her. He removed them. Got into the bed next to her. Yanked the blankets off her. Looked at her. "Oh Moira...you have no idea what I want to do with you. Repeatedly." He kissed her, sliding onto her now.

Moira pushed half-heartedly, but her body was responding to his. Not caring if this wasn't the right John Sheppard, only that it was John Sheppard. She moved under him, tensing, but he was taking his time. Every motion slow, gentle. Wooing instead of cajoling. Arousing instead of insisting. She felt tears, hating herself for yielding but having no choice. Dreading the alternatives if she did otherwise. She had to protect the baby she carried, protect herself. She couldn't quite feel safe with this John Sheppard.

Sheppard slid along her body, kissing her over and over. Caressing, enjoying the feel of her. The taste of her unlike his version of Moira. The warmth and softness surrendering to him. Even her reluctance was an aphrodisiac to him. He savored it. He removed her bra. Mouth sliding over each breast. Sucking gently as his hands wandered lower. Lower. Lower. Her nipples hardened in his mouth. Her soft gasps and squirming motion making his erection throb in an agony of want, of need. He freed her breast to kiss along her waist. Lower, lower, but paused. Lifted to look at her. "What the hell is this?" he snapped.

Moira had been staring at the ceiling, trying to think of something else, anything else. Trying to deny the enjoyment. She felt his fingers along her side. Along the newer scars. "Huh? Oh. Knife attack."

"What?" His green eyes darkened as he moved to meet her gaze. "You were attacked? Injured? Where the hell was John?"

"It wasn't his fault! He's my husband, not my, my bodyguard! I'm fine now!"

"It would never have happened under my care." He slid down. Kissed the scars. Moving lower, lower. Abruptly yanked off the panties. Moira squirmed, tensing but he shoved her thighs apart. "Ah fuck," he breathed against her mound. Savoring, tasting. Almost coming as he felt her tensing under him. He moved. Slid up and thrust into her. Rock hard now. Eager, so eager. "Moira! Moira," he growled. Possessive. Thrust after thrust. Taking her a little roughly.

Moira whimpered, trapped between pleasure and guilt. Tension and comfort. Her hands clasped his arms, freed them, clasped them again. His mouth catching hers, her breasts, his grunts increasing as he increased the momentum. Going faster, deeper. Moira moaned, trying not to enjoy it but enjoying it all the same. "John, John!" broke from her breathless lips. He caught her fluttering hands, pinned them to either side of her head and thrust eagerly now.

Sheppard was reveling in the sex, the possession. Her tension and conflict making it all the sweeter. Making her all the tighter, snugger. Clenching on him so hard he thought he'd die of sheer pleasure. Her squirming only guiding him deeper, angling into her in ways that made her gasp and moan as the physical enjoyment superseded any moral qualms. He groaned loudly, riding her harder now, harder and faster until he felt her coming. Heard her soft cries growing louder as the orgasm took her. As she pulsed and pulsed over him and he thrust deeply. Shuddered and growled as he came with hot spurting. He slowed, abruptly fell upon her. He freed her hands. "Fuck," he muttered breathlessly.

Moira felt tears. She tried to close her legs but he was still inside her, receding now. His weight pinning her down in a messy warmth. Finding her hands free she touched him. Caressed his hair, his back, then drew away. Uncertain. Miserable. Pleasured. Hating him for insisting on this. Hating herself for acquiescing. She made a soft sound, somewhere between distress and satisfaction. Sheppard shifted his weight off her abdomen, slid out of her at last but reclined half on her. Pillowing his head on her breasts. Long fingers stroking her side up and down. Up and down. Silent.

Moira wiped her eyes, staring at the ceiling. She could hear the wind whistling around the hut. Could almost taste the snow in the cold air. She touched his shoulder. Warm beneath him. If she closed her eyes she almost pretend it was her John Sheppard. Her John. Her husband. The father of her son. The father of the baby she was carrying. But she didn't close her eyes. Her fingers tightened on his shoulder for a moment. "Colonel?"

He grunted. "That again? Call me by my name, Moira. You had no trouble doing it earlier," he noted with a smirk. He moved, kissing her breasts. Fingers playing along her hip now.

She shifted. "John..."

Sheppard lifted. Kissed her, almost a tender motion of his mouth on hers. He rolled off her, satisfied. Licked his lips. "Give me ten. No. Five. Five, and we'll go again."

Moira stared at the ceiling. Silent.

John woke. He frowned, burrowing deeper into the blankets of the bed. As if he could grasp any trace his wife had left. A last lingering scent, or the feel of her warm body. He heard the sound again. A strange clicking. Then his son's voice, very soft. Prattling. He sighed. Sat. Eyed the darkened room. He looked over to the doorway between the two rooms. A faint glow sparked, was gone. Sparked again.

Curious he got out of the blankets. Padded over to the doorway and looked into his son's room. Stared. Johnny was sitting on the floor, holding a strange device in his lap. It threw light up into the air and onto the ceiling. A display of planets and stars. The little boy was muttering. Words both coherent and nonsensical escaping his lips as he concentrated, little brows furrowed.

"Johnny! What are you doing?"

At his father's stern tone the device abruptly went dark. The little boy looked over, startled as his father turned on the lights in the room. "Daddy?"

"What is that?" John asked, gentling his tone. He moved to his son, sat next to him on the floor.

"I...I found it, daddy."

"Found it? Found it where?" John took the device, looked it over. He had never seen it before. "Where did you get this, son?"

"Daddy, daddy, I found it. In, in the level two thing. Daddy, it not us but is."

"Huh...you mean it belongs to one of those other men but is of Lantean design. A star map of some sort." John activated it. The projection drew his gaze to the ceiling. "A star chart of their reality, their galaxy. Similar to ours but not exact."

"Daddy, daddy, don't mad! I was looking for mommy! I look for mommy!"

"You were?" He sighed. Set the device on the floor. Gathered his son into his lap. "Look up there, junior. You see...you see that dot? The blue one?" John pointed.

"Yes, daddy."

"That's where mommy is. Right there. And soon, soon she will be home. I promise."

"Daddy, daddy, is mommy with bad you?"

"Yes, captain. Mommy is with bad me. She's fine, don't you worry," he reassured, all the while his stomach twisting at the thought of her being with his darker self. Knowing all too well what his darker self would want from her. Want to do with her. Repeatedly.

"Can we go there, daddy?" the child asked, pointing up at the planet.

"No, son. At least not yet. But soon, soon, I promise," he whispered into the child's hair.

"Okay, daddy." The boy seemed appeased by this. He touched the device. It powered down. "Daddy, can I keep this?"

"Yes," John decided. "It could prove to have useful intel, son. Now let's get you back to bed." He stood, carried the boy to his bed. Swung him high, then pretended to almost drop him, making the child laugh in delight. John smiled. Kissed him. Tucked him under the blankets. "There now."

"Daddy! Where plane plane?"

"Oh. Sorry, sport. Here you go." John handed his son an old stuffed toy. A pale blue plane he had had since babyhood. Had become attached to again since his mother had gone. "And for good measure, here's Mr. Wooly." He handed his son the stuffed woolly mammoth.

"I like Mr. Wooly," Johnny said with a smile. Comforted. He held both toys as he reclined. "Daddy, daddy, when mommy home?"

"Soon, son. I promise. Now go to sleep, Johnny, like a good little boy. We have a lot to do tomorrow, now don't we?" He stood. Eyed the child a moment. "And don't be touching any more Ancient toys, okay? Not unless I give the word."

"Yes, daddy. Sorry, daddy."

"It's all right, son. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, daddy." John crossed the room. Turned off the light. Stood in the doorway a moment. "Daddy!"

John whirled, returned to the bed. "What is it, Johnny?"

The boy bit his lower lip a moment, so reminiscent of his mother that John felt his stomach roll over for a moment. "Daddy, daddy, when mommy come home...when mommy come home...can we still have pizza?"

John smiled, relaxing. "Yes, son. We can still have pizza when mommy comes home. Mommy likes pizza too, so don't you worry. Now go to sleep, son."

"Goodnight, daddy!"

"Goodnight, Johnny." John entered his room. Heard his son quietly talking to his toys. He smiled. But stood staring at the bed. The empty bed. And his smile faded. Was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend8

It was during the third week that John's facade began to crumble. He had been thankfully busy during the first two weeks, utilizing his ATA gene to initiate the interfaces. Stabilizing the power. Reestablishing connections in the city. Using his own codes to effect changes. To guide the city to repair itself piece by piece. All the while under the watchful eyes of the men from the alternate universe. Under the eyes of his own men. Under Richard's gaze. All expected him to do something. So he did nothing. All expected him to lash out in anger, or violence. He did neither.

All the while John played along. Appearing cooperative, if sullen. Appearing mollified while inside he seethed. All the while waiting as Rodney secretly worked on a way to open the anomaly to the precise point where Moira had been taken. All the while reassuring Johnny that mommy would be home soon. All the while keeping his own anger and despair to himself. Plotting and planning her rescue to the nth degree.

But the days dragged on and on. The nights were sleepless. Tossing and turning once his son was finally asleep. Missing the feel of his wife beside him. Missing her scent, her warmth, her voice, her touch. Her love. Trying to not imagine what she was enduring at the hands of his darker self,. But he knew. He knew. Jealousy flitted with concern. Moira was pregnant again but trapped in another man's reality. Another man's bed. Him but not him. John tried to banish the thoughts, the images, but they wouldn't go away. They wouldn't leave his mind.

So the facade continued. Despite his best efforts to play along for Johnny's sake anger was sliding closer to the surface. At least it was better than despair. Anger was something he could hang onto, could use. Despair would just drown him. Make him helpless. Vulnerable. He vowed to himself to never be that way again.

John glanced at his son. The little boy was standing near a table. Touching the chair next to him. Chewing on his lower lip again. John looked back at the console. Powered down the device. Removed it. "Rodney, copy? How's that? It's still reading at eighty percent."

"Same here, John," Rodney's voice sounded over the comm. "We're almost there, John! Almost at complete stability without the interfaces! At least we're no longer sinking!"

"That's a good thing," John noted dourly. Glanced round the room. The technicians were busily activated power stations. Sheppard's men looked on, at him, at the consoles. Expressions unreadable. Stern. John glowered, hand tightening on the device for a moment. Power flared and he freed it. Wondered if he could convert it into a weapon.

"That just leaves two more," Rodney announced. The relief in his voice was audible. "I think we can even repair the damaged sections underwater now without any risk."

John was about to reply when a crash made him whirl.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Johnny cried, sprawled on the floor. The chair was upended next to him. The little boy burst into tears, bawling.

"Whoa, whoa, Johnny!" John rushed to his son.

"I want mommy! I want my mommy! I want mommy! Mommy!" he bawled, tears coursing down his face.

The heartrending sorrow made John feel tears of his own. He gathered his son to his arm, lifted him. "Easy, easy, junior, ssh. Daddy's here, ssh, daddy's here." He cuddled the little boy, kissed his brow. The child clung to him, still crying. "What the hell did you do to my son?" John flared, glaring at all the staring men. Not one had moved to aid the child. Not one revealed a trace of any emotion, any sympathy.

"Nothing, nothing, sir," several muttered, seemingly embarrassed.

John strode out of the room. "Easy, junior, easy now. It's all right. Did you get hurt? Did you get hurt trying to climb the chair? I'll take care of you, son. Mommy's coming home soon, I promise. Okay? Okay?"

"I want mommy!" Johnny wailed, unappeased.

John felt his stomach clench. Felt helpless. Almost hated Moira for leaving them. "I know, sport, so do I. And mommy wants to be back with us. Ssh, ssh...here we go, son." He carried the boy to his rooms, ignoring the looks of his men. His friends. Women moved towards him, but he refused their help, their sudden sympathy. Hating them all. Hating himself. He sat on the bed, child on his lap. Wiped the boy's face as he calmed. Helped him blow his nose. "Johnny, it's all right. Can I tell you a secret?"

The little boy sniffed. Eyed his father with big blue eyes. Pouting as he clutched, clung. "Okay, daddy."

"Okay, captain. But it's a secret. Tell no one. Daddy is going to get mommy."

"Really?" he asked. Hiccuped and stared at his father. Trusting.

"Yes, I promise. As soon as Uncle Rodney finds a way I will go get mommy. But it's a secret. Our secret. Our secret mission, okay? A military secret only for us."

The little boy nodded, solemn. "Okay, daddy." He snuggled.

"That's my boy. Ssh now." He gently rocked the child. "Soon, Johnny, I promise. Soon I will go get mommy on our secret mission. And you know what?"

"What, daddy?"

"Then all three of us will go to Pleistocene Park. Won't that be fun?"

"Yes, daddy! That be fun!" The child brightened.

"Yes, captain. We'll go to Pleistocene Park. All three of us. You can see some real mammoths."

"Real ones?"

"Yes, son. I think. At least some mastodons. All sorts of big animals that mommy tells you about and helps you color in your coloring books. All sorts. And mommy will tell you the names of each one of them. Impossibly long Latin names," he recalled with a smile. But his smile faded. The ache for Moira constant. "Easy now, captain. You can draw some more pictures for mommy, all right? All better?"

"All better, daddy!" He hugged his father.

John kissed the child. "That's my boy! My brave little soldier. Okay, then. We have a plan."

"A secret plan."

"Yes, a secret plan. Good boy." There was a knock at the door. "Come in," John invited. Tensing but Rodney opened the door. Entered. Closed the door behind him. "Is he all right?"

"Does he look all right?" John snapped. Sighed. "Sorry. No."

Rodney stepped to them. Eyed the child. Eyed John. A smile formed. "Got it."

It took a moment to register. Then John smiled. Relieved. "Finally."

"What? Do you know how difficult this was? Of course you don't!" Rodney stated, shaking his head. "What do you know of quantum physics and alternate universes and anomalies that have to be exact, exact to the precise equation or you could end up in any version of reality or none at all! Plus all the subterfuge! Do you know they've been monitoring my work every day! Every day! I've had to do some rather underhanded things, in the name of science and of course for Moira so I don't mind that it's just the way I'm being treated in my city!"

"When?" John asked after the scientist had finished his rant.

"What? Oh. Tomorrow. Woolsey will be on an inspection tour of the lower levels, specifically Section E. I could have sworn we had that one finished but there's a glitch, you know." He winked.

John smiled. "Thanks, Rodney. I owe you. But don't wink like that or you'll give it away."

"Ha ha. Anyway he'll be taking a squad of marines and scientists. As if he needed to double-check our work! We've got a window there, John. I don't have to tell you how precise this has to be. I've built the integrating system from scratch using their own devices so it's keyed to your genome only. The power requirements alone will overtax the Jumper so you better make it quick and only one trip in and one trip out. Plus I added a very special extraction feature which you may need to use, but only if there's no other way. What's your plan?"

"Got it. A full exfiltration in hostile territory with minimal danger and some subterfuge."

"Huh? Oh. I've inputted the precise equations to open the anomaly and to get you there and back."

"And what about destroying it?"

"That too...at least leaving a surprise for anyone foolish enough to follow after you." Rodney appeared uncomfortable. "John...I don't know if that will work. If it will have any effect at all or a catastrophic one on the–"

"Don't care. I want that fucking, er fudging door closed. Permanently."

"But what about those men? The–"

"Not a problem. I've got a plan in place to, um, dispose of them. Then we lock down that anomaly after delivering the message."

"Dispose of...oh..." Rodney blanched.

"Yeah, it's better you don't know." There was a grim silence.

"Uncle Rod, why does star twinkle?" the little boy suddenly asked, secure on his father's lap.

Rodney smiled. "Why do the stars twinkle? That's a very good question, kiddo, and wouldn't you know it? I have the answer. It's caused by schlieren-optical inhomogeneities in the planet's astmosphere. Which in turn is caused by air at different temperatures. Because the stars are so far away from us they appear as points of light. This means that their position in the sky can be distorted by atmospheric turbulence, which appears to our eyes as twinkling. So the stars really don't twinkle. It's an optical effect produced by the atmosphere and our own visual conceptions." He smiled. Waited, but both father and son were silent. Staring at him with similar expressions. Rodney paused. Looked at John. "What?"

John rolled his eyes. Looked at his son whose puzzled mien mirrored his own. "Johnny, the stars twinkle because they are happy."

The boy looked at his father. Smiled. "Okay, daddy. That good to be happy."

"Yes, it is. It is good to be happy," John agreed.

"Because they are happy?" Rodney scoffed. Shook his head. "Really, John, what's next? The moon is full because it ate too much for dinner?"

"It did?" asked Johnny in wonder.

"Yeah, just like your uncle here," John agreed with a smirk. "And for the record the moon is full of cheese, as everyone knows."

"And the cow jumped over the moon? Really, John, I know he's a kid and all but you can never start him on science too early."

John frowned. "Yes, you can. Go easy on the science, professor. He's only a little boy, not a rocket scientist! Not any scientist." John eyed his son a moment. The little boy was watching his uncle, not understanding the conversation but comforted. "Rodney...I need you to look after Johnny while I'm gone."

"Of course, John," Rodney agreed, sobering.

"Daddy? Daddy, daddy, where go?"

"I told you, junior. To get mommy. Our secret plan." He eased the child back a little to meet his gaze. "I need you to be strong, Johnny. Brave. Like mommy told you. Okay? You need to look after your Uncle Rodney for me while I'm gone. You know how he likes to eat all of the pudding. Don't let him do that."

Johnny smiled. "Okay, daddy, I do it."

"Good. And you obey him. I won't be gone long, I promise. And when I get back with mommy where are we going again?"

"Pleistocene Park!"

"Yes, we are. The three of us. Can you do that for me, Johnny? Be a big boy and look after Uncle Rodney for me?"

Rodney smiled. "Don't worry, John. I won't let him out of my sight, I promise. Nothing will happen to him."

"It had better not. Don't let anyone else near him, Rodney. I mean anyone. Don't trust anyone else here." His voice lowered. "Not even our friends with him, okay? Keep him close. Keep him safe." He lightened his tone, met his son's gaze. "Johnny, don't forget. Our secret plan is a secret. Tell no one. All right?"

"Okay, daddy! And, and I have save the pudding!"

John chuckled. "Yeah. Save the pudding!"


	9. Chapter 9

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend9

Moira strolled with Sheppard through the shanty town. Quonset huts dominated, pale, domed forms on the landscape. A light snow was falling from the leaden sky. A chill wind blew. They climbed a hill to view the sparkling ocean. It was a vivid blue against the bleak sky and falling snow. Like a jewel Atlantis was rising out of the waves. Water spilled along the shimmering shield. Creating rainbows in the frigid air. The wind whipped her hood off her head and she shivered, hands thrust into the pockets of her gray jacket.

Sheppard smiled. Slid his arm around her waist. "I knew we could do it, Moira!" he enthused. "One more big push and the city will be fully alive! I may not even need you for that bit so you can rest another day. Let's go." He guided her down the hill, into the maelstrom of activity. People were rushing back and forth, an endless sea of gray uniforms. Ships were flying overhead, loaded with supplies, with passengers. "I couldn't have done it without you, Moira."

"Without my double ATA, you mean," she noted dourly.

He laughed. "Yeah, that too. Moira, my love, we have brought Atlantis back from the dead! A haven for our people once more. Protection against any threat, against that new threat. Those weird aliens I showed you, remember? As soon as I can get the Stargate running we can–"

"No, colonel." Her words cut off his enthusiasm. His happiness. "I need to go home. I need my son. I need my husband."

Sheppard's smile faded. "In due time, Moira. One more week, per our agreement. I should take you to Pleistocene Park. Would you like that?"

"No." She disengaged herself from his grasp. Turned to face him. "I want to go home. Johnny needs me. He needs his mother. He's only a little boy."

"In due time," Sheppard repeated. Disappointed. Jealous. Realizing the chimera of what they had was about to burst, to fade into nothing. "We can sleep in the city tonight, Moira," he said, arm sliding around her once more as he guided her through the people. "It will be much warmer and much more comfortable. A bigger bed. A real shower. Real food, even."

Moira sighed. Miserable. Hearing his denial. Feeling sympathy but hardening against it. Against him. She disengaged herself again, turned to face him. People parted around them, an endless ebb and flow giving the couple privacy in the midst of it. She touched his arm. "You know this can't last, colonel." Her voice was gentle. Gaze kind. Resolute. "None of this is real. What is between us can't last. It won't. I can't stay here with you. I belong in my own Atlantis. With my son and my husband."

He was silent, mulling her words. Her compassion. Her resolve. "I know," he finally admitted. Voice low. But her relief was short-lived. "I know this can't last, Moira. But I need it to last. You do love me, on some level. You know you do. You try to deny it, even fight it, but it's there. And not just because I'm John Sheppard. There's something in me that calls to you, stronger than whatever is in him. So you see, Moira, you could stay here. We could raise that baby you carry as our own. Hell, that baby is mine, at least genetically."

Moira touched her abdomen, startled. "No. This baby is John's. My John's. I can't stay here, colonel. I won't. I don't belong here. I can't be what you've lost."

"No, you can't," he agreed. "You could be more. Much more."

She shook her head. "No. It has to end, John. Whatever this is has to end. For both our sakes. You are needed here, to be a leader. I'm needed back home. To be a mother. A wife."

"Not a scientist?"

"That too. But not here. I...I'm sorry, John. This isn't real. Any of it."

"It's real enough for me, Moira. Very real when we are together. In bed, together. It's real enough," he argued. Resumed walking.

Moira followed him. "No, John." She caught his arm. "Colonel, please! You can't keep me here! You can't! Per our agreement you have to take me back in a week!"

He turned, meeting her gaze. Steely-eyed. "Our agreement's rescinded, Moira. I can keep you and I will keep you. I'm not letting you go ever again."

Moira stared at him as he moved away from her. Distraught. A swarm of tears blinded her. The thought of never seeing her son again, of never seeing John again making her stomach flip. Her heart race. The thought of having her baby in his environment making her queasy.

John crouched behind a hut, watching. Waiting. Finally Sheppard and Moira came into view. He stared at his wife, resisting every urge to rush to her. Snow was falling, sparkling in her long braid as her hood had fallen from her head. She was clad like most of the people, in a gray uniform as if she belonged here. But she didn't. She appeared pale, sad. Weary. So beautiful to John's eyes he felt his heart race, his muscles tense in readiness.

He frowned as Sheppard had his arm around her waist. Smiled when Moira moved free of him. Stood talking with him. He couldn't hear the words but could see her sorrow. Sympathy. The first made him yearn to comfort her. The second galled him. But he saw her resolve. Determination. Then her despair as it swallowed her. He stood. Stepped over the dead body of the man whose gray garments had donned. He rubbed his chin. He had considered growing a beard to better blend in, to impersonate his doppelganger, but had decided against it. Now he was glad he had made the decision, seeing that his darker self had shaved. No doubt to please Moira. To make himself resemble John more and more.

He stepped into the crowd, moving with them. Edging closer to Moira. "Baby," he said in passing.

Moira whirled, gasped. She stared round. Could have sworn it had been John's voice, his term of endearment for her. But Sheppard was a few feet away from her, issuing orders. Voice stern. Her heart hammered.

"Baby, sit," John instructed, passing by her again. Longing to touch her, to reveal himself but knew he couldn't. Not yet.

Moira turned again as the familiar voice and term caressed her ears. All she saw were strangers clad in the same uniform gray. Shadows moving against the snowfall. She stumbled.

Sheppard was at her side, taking her arm. "Moira?"

"I...I need to sit. No, I'm fine. I'll wait there." She freed her arm, moved to a bench. Sat among several other people who were waiting for transports. More joined them. People shifted, jostled. Always coming and going. A steady stream in front of her. Constantly changing around her as some left, some sat.

"Baby." A hand touched hers. "Don't look. Don't react." John sat next to her. Not looking at her.

Moira froze. Afraid to believe. Afraid not to believe. She looked at her hand as it rested on the bench. Saw a man's fingers emerge from a gray sleeve. Cover hers. Gently squeeze. A gold ring she knew very well glinted. A wedding ring. She looked up to see his face dimly in the hood. "Sweetie?" she whispered. Saw his answering smile. She felt tears. "John?"

"Ssh," he cautioned. "Alone." She turned as Sheppard approached. People parting for him. She felt the loss of John's hand on hers as he drew away from her. The warmth of his fingers replaced by the cold air. She turned but now a burly man sat next to her, checking his P90.

Moira looked at Sheppard. Stood. "I...I need to lay down for a bit. I feel sick suddenly."

He took her arm. "All right. You can wait in our hut out of the snow. Are you okay, Moira?"

"I...I'm not sure," she admitted, wondering if the whole thing had been a hallucination. She felt the color rising to her cheeks. Touched her abdomen. She stumbled alongside him as he guided her to the hut. Sighed as two men parted to let them pass. She sat on the bed. "Give me five."

"All right. I need to supervise the return." He moved to the door. Opened it. "No one gets in here. No one."

"Yes, sir!"

Sheppard glanced back at her, then left.

The doors closed. Moira sighed. Stood. Looked round the hut. Heard a noise at the back of it. A muffled groan. A soft thump. She stared, expecting John to enter at any moment. But there was no door at the back. The walls were solid. Impenetrable.

Noises drew her gaze to the front again. She waited, tense. Fearing he had been discovered. Fearing he couldn't find her. Fearing the worst. She took a step towards the door. Froze hearing Sheppard's harsh voice. He entered. Paused, staring at her. Clad in black head to toe so at first she wasn't sure. Moira watched his whole demeanor change. From harsh, stern regard to a warm, loving gaze. And she knew. But she was hesitant. "Sweetie?"

John nodded. "Baby. Moira...my Moira."

Then she was in his arms, hugging him tightly. So tightly John was certain she would crack a rib. But he didn't care. "John! John!"

He kissed her brow. "Moira... my Moira. Sweetheart...thank God! Are you okay?" He gently freed himself to better see her teary face.

"Yes."

"The baby?" He slid his hand down to her abdomen. Rested it there.

"Yes. He's fine. Seamus Sean Sheppard is fine."

"Seamus Sean?" He quirked a brow. "Wow...that's a lot of 's's, Moy. But I'm fine with that," he hastily added, seeing a flare of anger.

"John." She hugged him again. "John! I had to, I had to name him to protect him. I know he's not a baby yet maybe not even a he but I had to make him real, make him a person to protect and to keep safe, to keep safe and well and–"

John kissed her. A deep kiss cutting off her anxiety. Kiss after kiss as if he couldn't stop, couldn't get enough. Which he couldn't. He finally freed her. "Let's go and ow!" he complained as a slap hit his cheek. Stinging.

"What the hell are you doing here, John? You left Johnny! How could you leave him?"

"He's safe with–"

"How could you leave him?" she continued, furious. "He needs you! He lost his mother, now his father too? How could you–"

"He needs you, Moy! So do I! Now let's go!" He took her hand, led her to the door. Rubbed his jaw. "Crap! You nearly decked me a good one, baby. Have you been taking self-defense classes here in evil Atlantis?"

She smiled. "No. Sorry, sweetie. How did you ever–"

"Later. Stay close to me, Moy. Whatever happens do not let go of my hand. Don't let go."

"Okay, John."

He glanced at her. His hand tightening on hers. "Okay, then. Let's get the hell out of Dodge, baby. Forever." He led her out of the hut.

"Sir? The–"

"Get our gear now!" John snarled. He led Moira past the guards. Snow was flying wildly. Masking them in a white shroud as they hastened along. Through the crowds, past armed men.

"John? Where–"

"Close. Cloaked," he answered, gaze darting everywhere. He could feel the target on his back and hastened his stride, pulling Moira with him. Knowing they would be discovered. It was only a matter of time.

"Colonel, supplies are loaded into Jumper Three."

"Colonel, we have slight energy fluctuations but Doctor McKay says that's normal. Shall we proceed?

"Colonel, we...colonel?" The man stared as he saw not one but two John Sheppards.

"Crap. Time to run," John said, and pulled Moira into a rush.

"Moira!" Sheppard bellowed, catching sight of her following another man. And he knew. The way his men were standing, staring, momentarily dumbfounded. "Son of a bitch! Get him! Stop them now!"

Moira ran with him. Bullets pinged around them. "John!"

"I know! Stay close, Moy! Every step of the way and don't let go!" John swerved, dodged, using the fleeing people and the snow to shield them. Moira was on his heels, hand tight in his.

He skidded to a sudden halt as armed men appeared out of the snow, blocking him. He swore, kept Moira behind him. Turning and turning but they were surrounded. The men parted, all guns trained on him now. Sheppard advanced. Ire in every step. "Moy, stay behind me. Hold onto me. Tightly. Don't say a word," he instructed over his shoulder.

In response Moira slid her free arm around his waist. Stepped close and pressed herself to his back. Hidden behind him now. Silent. Fearful.

"Johnny-boy, I should have guessed," Sheppard rasped. Stopping near him. "I'm surprised you were able to access the anomaly, but then again your McKay is almost as smart as mine. Almost. You were never good at waiting, were you?"

"Deal's done, colonel. Your city is raised. Mine is safe. I'm taking my wife home. Then you'll get your men."

"The deal was for another week. You just broke it. I should just kill you now."

Moira softly gasped behind John. Her hold tightening on him. "Yeah, you could, but you won't. We can't have an Atlantis without a Sheppard, now can we? Besides, you kill me, you kill Moira. Oh, wait. You did that already, didn't you?"

Sheppard glowered. "Shut up! Let her go, now! I'll send you back alive. Moira! Come to me now, baby, or he dies!"

Moira peeked over John's shoulder. "Only this John gets to call me that!" she snapped.

John smiled. "Damn right, baby. My wife. My Moira. Get it now, colonel? The mother of my son. She's carrying my baby. Mine! This is goodbye, colonel. Forever! You will never, never see her again!"

"Kill him," Sheppard said.

"No!" Moira cried, but a burst of light blinded her. She clung to John. Stumbled as he turned. "How..." she stammered, finding herself in a Jumper.

"It only works once! Let's go, Moira!" He rushed to the pilot's seat. "Moy! Move that pert little ass and get strapped in!" he ordered, powering the ship as he sat.

Moira smiled. Slid into the co-pilot's seat. "How...how..."

"Wraith beam, long story. Rodney. Shit! They can see us even cloaked!" he complained, as he flew the ship into the air. Veered wildly. "Hang on, sweetheart!"

Moira grabbed the sides of the chair as the ship accelerated. Lasers hit the vehicle, jolting it but the shield held. She felt her stomach lurch as John veered, juked, flew a crazy course all over the air to avoid more dangerous shots. She stared as lights flared. As the HUD displayed several ships pursuing them. The Jumper rocked with another hit. "John! John!"

"We'll make it, Moy, don't you worry," he assured, glancing at the HUD. Then at the controls under his hands.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed. Instead of heading into the waters they were flying steadily over them now. Making a perilous beeline for Atlantis. He yanked down a handle. A werid pulsation erupted from the ship, hit the city's shield, momentarily disrupting it. He fired drones into the unprotected towers. "John!"

"Diversion. Hold on!"

"Damn it! We just fixed that section!" she complained, staring as part of the tower exploded. Pieces fell into the churning ocean.

John glanced at her, hearing her ire. "Sorry, honey. Here we go." John spun the ship in a perfect 360, fired on his pursuers. Then abruptly accelerated. Dove into the waters. The ship slammed the waves and buckled but the shield held. Flickering. He slowed, slowed, adjusting his angle as the waters sizzled, engulfing them. "Anomaly in five. Moira, that panel. Moira!" He pointed. "When I tell you grab that stick and use your double mojo."

She met his gaze. Smirked a moment. "Are you saying you want me to take the stick, sweetie? This one? Are you sure?"

He flashed a grin at her. "Yeah, for now. The other stick can wait." He looked at the viewport. The controls. "Trust me, Moy. We are getting the hell out of Dodge and slamming this door shut forever."

Moira eyed the readings. "They're following us!"

"Yeah, I know. Good."

"Good? How can that possibly be good?" she exclaimed. "John?"

"Eyes on the prize, sweetheart. Anomaly in three. Vectoring for it now...activation in one. Now!" he ordered.

Moira grabbed the controls. The device hummed, flared brightly to life. Colors shone on the screen. Were reflected back to her on the viewport. Then in the water as the anomaly blazed to life. Like an underwater aurora borealis the colors were waves in the sea. Colors of green and blue and red flaring, undulating like a living thing.

John guided the ship through the anomaly. It rocked, bucked but he kept it under control, never slowing, never stopping. The ship was engulfed by the colors until they abruptly faded. John spun the ship round, fired at any pursuit. "Let go, Moy!"

She freed the control, fell back into her seat as the ship was pushed backwards. As if a giant hand had shoved them. The waters calmed. Fell into darkness except for the Jumper's lights. She freed the breath she had been holding. "John? Now what?"

He met her gaze. Smiled. "Home. We go home, Moira."


	10. Chapter 10

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend10

John guided the ship towards the underwater bay. Tapped his earpiece. "Rodney, copy? It's a go."

"John! Thank God! On our way!" sounded Rodney's voice in his ear.

Moira looked at her husband. He was steering the ship through the waters. Tapped a command and the bay doors opened, allowing him ingress to the holding area. As the doors closed he lifted the ship out of the waters. "John?"

"We're home, Moira. Relax. You're home. You're safe." He landed smoothly. Powered down. He unstrapped, stood. Looked at her. "Moy?" He had expected her to be eager, to be flying out of her seat and out of the ship but she just sat there. Appearing uncertain. Almost forlorn.

"I..." She unstrapped. Stood. Nervous. Stomach twisting.

John took her hand. "It's all right, sweetheart, I promise. Let's go. I know someone is very, very anxious to see you." He led her out of the ship.

Rodney was standing near the ship, waiting. Holding Johnny's hand as the little boy stood next to him. When he caught sight of her he cried, "Mommy! Mommy!" He ran to her. Almost falling in his haste.

"Johnny!" Moira's caution broke. She ran to him, fell to her knees and caught him in a tight embrace. "Darling!" She burst into tears.

"Mommy! Mommy!" the boy shouted, crying as well, but these were tears of happiness, relief. He clung to her but she was showering him with kisses now. Making him giggle.

John stepped to them. He met Rodney's gaze. Both men were moved at the reunion of mother and child. Both had tears sparkling in their eyes. They sheepishly shrugged, embarrassed. Wiped their eyes quickly, avoiding each other's gazes. John cleared his throat, his voice of the choking emotion. "Thanks, Rodney."

Rodney coughed. "I'm just glad it worked. If I had to tell kiddo here one more time why the stars twinkle I was going to come get you both myself," he jested.

"Status?"

"ETA in five."

"Crap."

Johnny had calmed, clinging to his mother. She held him close. Looked at John. Looked at Rodney. "Rodney! You...you...thank you."

"Mommy, mommy, I'm hungry!" the little boy complained, now that all was well.

She smiled, stood. "Okay, darling." She lifted him to her arms. "It's all right, Johnny. It's all right now."

"Mommy, mommy, did you help people?"

"Yes, darling, I did. But all I wanted to do was to come home to you and daddy."

"Mommy, daddy, I save pudding from Uncle Rod."

"What?"

John smiled. "Private joke. I'll tell you later. Good job, buddy. I knew I could rely on you." His expression turned grim. He tapped his earpiece. "Ronon. Execute."

Rodney stared, said nothing. Moira saw her husband's expression. Wondered at the one stern order. "John?"

"Dump in ten. Lorne." He turned to her, expression softening. "Let's go, sweetheart." He took her arm, led her out of the bay.

Rodney walked with them. "I'll have the door open in five. John...are you sure you–"

"Yes. Don't ask. All threats eliminated. I'll handle the rest from here now. Thanks, Rodney."

"Rodney, wait!" Moira stopped him. Stepped close. Kissed his cheek. "Thank you! For everything. For, for helping John rescue me. For looking after Johnny."

Rodney smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Moira. Babysitting one John is difficult enough, but two? Impossible!" They gently laughed. He touched her arm, about to say more. Thought better of it and looked at John. Winked at Johnny and left.

Moira stared after him, wondering what he had wanted to say. She kept silent as John guided her to their rooms. She carried her son who was holding onto her, quiet. Resting his head on her shoulder and just relaxing in her love, her return. "John," she said as they entered their room, "I really, really, really need a shower. Okay?"

"Of course, Moy. Here, captain." John took the boy from her.

"Mommy?"

She kissed his cheek. "I need to take a shower, darling. Then I want you to tell me everything you did while I was gone, okay?"

"Okay, mommy! I did lots!"

She smiled. "I'm sure you did, darling. Keep an eye on daddy for me, would you?" She looked at John a moment. Gathered some things from the dresser and entered the bathroom. Closed the door. Leaned back against it as emotion overwhelmed her.

John guided his son into his room. "Here we go, sport. Mommy will be with you ASAP. You should probably pick up your toys before she sees this mess."

"Oh. Yes, daddy, that is good idea."

John smiled at the boy's serious tone. Watched him moving around, putting all of his scattered toys back into a toy chest. He tapped his earpiece. "Rodney?"

"Done. Anomaly shut for good, John. Activation of weapons online. I'm monitoring it now."

"Thanks. Take five, Rodney. Lorne, copy?"

"Orders, sir? Is Moira all right?" Evan asked, standing in the Jumper bay.

"Yes. She's fine. Woolsey?"

"Office. He was clear before Ronon got the drop on them. On all of them, sir." Evan shook his head, still impressed how the Satedan had taken out nine men. With lethal force. "Dumped and delivered, as ordered, sir. Now what?"

John considered. Watched as his son suddenly scampered past him, hearing the bathroom door open in the other room. Heard his happy shout of mommy. Heard Moira's loving welcome. Things were back to normal again. His little family. Safe. Secure. His. "I'll handle it from here. Stand down, major. And thanks."

"I'm just glad Moira's back, sir, where she belongs."

Moira sat on the bed, scooting up to the pillows. She felt better after the long, hot shower. The private release of emotions, away from husband and son. The sorrow. The anger. The guilt. Tears of relief and anxiety. She was calmer now. She drew her son closer as he snuggled against her. Quiet. Trusting. She kissed him, stroking his wayward dark hair. She watched John as he moved to the door. Talked quietly into his earpiece. Voice solemn. Unyielding. She frowned, catching a few words as he turned away from her. Extradite. Deitrus. Dumping ground. Force closure. Detonation. The name Reynolds.

"Mommy, mommy," Johnny said, drawing her attention back to him.

She kissed him. "It's all right, Johnny. What have you been doing while I was gone?"

"Lots, mommy!" The child brightened. "We fix city!"

"Yes, I see that. Good job, darling!"

"We fix city and daddy and Uncle Rod fix it too! City was sick, mommy but we talk to it and make it all better now," the child assured.

"I'm sure you did, darling. What else did you do?"

"I got to fly a Jumper!" he exclaimed, blue eyes sparkling at the memory.

"What?" Her gaze fell on John. "John!"

John turned to them. Moved to the bed. Shrugged. "Just a test run, Moy. Over the city."

"It was fun, mommy!"

"John," she said in warning.

"Only for a few seconds and I was right there with him. He's got a natural aptitude, ATA notwithstanding."

Johnny pouted. "Mommy, mommy, is daddy in trouble?"

Moira smiled. "Not yet, darling."

"Hey, Johnny, why don't you go get the pictures you made for mommy?" John suggested.

"Okay!" The little boy scampered off the bed, ran to his room. Talking all the while.

Moira watched him go. Patted the bed. "John."

He relaxed, moved to sit next to her. Slid his arm around her waist. He hid his face in her damp hair, silent. Having so many things to say, to ask, but not knowing where to start. Or how. He eyed her, drew back a little. Could see she had been crying. Was weary. Had released a storm of emotion. He touched her cheek. Drew her into a gentle kiss. Touched her abdomen. "How long?" he asked quietly. Feeling tenderly but she wasn't showing yet.

Moira touched his hand there. Drinking in his warmth, his love. His tender concern. "I...I'm not sure. Maybe two months now...maybe almost three?"

"And the baby's okay? I want you to be checked out as soon as possible," he said.

"No. The baby's fine."

"And you?"

She was silent. Hid her face against him suddenly, a surge of tears threatening. "Fine," she whispered. John silently cursed to himself, kissed her brow. Moira breathed in the scent of him. Her John. Different from the colonel, yet the same in many ways. Different in others.

"Mommy! Mommy, mommy, look!" She drew back from John as her son ran to them. Climbed onto the bed awkwardly, holding a bunch of papers in one hand along with his stuffed plane toy in the other. He scooted between his parents.

"So many!" she enthused, glancing at John. The plane toy was from his babyhood and she wondered, concerned.

"Yes, mommy. I was busy," the boy said seriously, making his parents exchange a smile. "Daddy said make pictures for mommy."

"Oh, I see. That was a good idea. What's this one?" she asked, pointing to the first one on the stack.

"That's an elephant, right?" John teased.

"No, daddy! A mammut!" Johnny corrected, frowning.

"A mammoth? Are you sure, captain? Looks like a mastodon to me," he continued.

"No, daddy! A mammut! Long hair wooly like Mr. Wooley, see? Mommy said mammut have long hair! See? Mommy said!"

"Oh, I see. Mommy said. Well, then," he conceded with a smile. Met Moira's gaze as she gently elbowed him. A playful reprimand.

Moira set it aside. "Wow...is this everyone in Atlantis?" she asked, eying the stick figures all over the page.

"Yes, mommy. See?" He pointed to a figure with long brown hair. "That's mommy." He pointed to a smaller figure. "Me." He pointed to a taller figure with a gun. "That's daddy."

"Of course. See how masculine and rugged I look," John stated. "And very, very well-endowed."

Moira snorted. "That's your P90, sweetie, not your, um, other ordnance."

"Oh? Oh," John teased, peering close. "Damn," he muttered, making Moira softly laugh. He smiled at the sound.

"Daddy!" the little boy stated, not understanding the joke but frowning at the interruption. He pointed at a figure with food. "Uncle Rod."

"Ah, of course," John chuckled.

Johnny pointed at the tallest figure, with long, thick hair. "Uncle Roe. Mommy, Uncle Roe is tall!"

"Yes, darling, Uncle Ronon is very tall," she agreed. "Who is this?"she asked, pointing to a figure in a white coat.

"Uncle Cars, mommy!"

"Of course, sorry, darling," she soothed.

He pointed to a figure with a plant. "Auntie Katie." He pointed to the last figure. "Auntie Teyla. That's all, mommy. I forgot Uncle Evan."

"That's all right, darling. You can add him in later," she soothed, but was staring at the stick figure representing Teyla. At the distinctive Wraith features on the face. Her son had never seen a Wraith, except when he was an infant. As if he had sensed the Wraith DNA in Teyla and had drawn it onto her stick figure. She glanced at John who met her gaze, shrugged. "What's next?" she asked, setting the drawing aside.

"The city!" It was a childish drawing of scrawls and oversized towers.

But Moira smiled. "Of course! You are very good, darling! Pretty colors," she praised.

"Pretty colors," he echoed.

They went through the rest of the drawings. A Jumper. Another mammoth. An elephant. Another tower of Atlantis. A ZPM brightly colored in orange and yellow. The ocean. Blues and greens. Johnny talking all the while about each picture, what day he drew it. Chattering away, secure between his parents. Answering his mother's questions, his father's comments. Beaming at their undivided attention. Their love. He put the last picture aside. Smiled. Suddenly looked at his mother. "Mommy, mommy, I love you, mommy!" He hugged her.

Moira returned his hug. Felt tears. "I love you, too, Johnny!" She kissed him.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy goo," he whispered.

Moira met John's gaze, alarmed. "John?"

"Yeah. He's been regressing a little." He indicated the plane toy. He touched his son's back. "He'll be fine now. Hey, buddy, I don't know about you but I am hungry!"

The boy freed his mother, looked at his father. "Me too!"

"Yeah, me three!"

The boy giggled. "Pizza and beer, daddy?"

"What? John!" she scolded.

John shrugged. "Not every night, Moy."

"John," she warned.

"And he only had a sip of beer, I swear. It didn't do any harm."

Moira sighed. "What have you boys been up to in my absence?"

"Mommy, I shot a–"

"Whoa, not now, junior!" John warned. Grinned as Moira began to frown. "Let's have dinner, Johnny."

"We can hang up your pictures on the wall tomorrow, darling. They are very good," Moira praised. The child beamed.

"Moy? What do you want?"

"Nothing. I'm not hungry." At his stare she added, "no, I'm fine. Get him a decent meal, would you?"

"Of course. For all of us." He kissed her. Stood. "Johnny, keep an eye on your mother. Code red, captain."

"Okay, daddy!" The child snuggled next to her.

"What? Code what?" Moira asked, but stared as John moved to the door. Looked back at them. Stepped out and met Ronon. The two men exchanged a look, then the door shut.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend11

Once the door had closed John's demeanor turned grim. Stern. "Well?"

Ronon nodded. Equally grim. "Executed. All nine. Disposed through the anomaly. Piece of cake. There were only nine. Swift. No noise. McKay shut it down and set the alarms and primed the weapons."

"Good. I need to get dinner. No one enters."

"Got it, Sheppard. Is Moira okay?"

"Yes. She's fine now. I won't be long." John strode through the hallways, glowering. Everyone gave him a wide berth. No doubt word of Moira's unexpected and early return was being spread, as was the odd disappearance of the alternate reality's marines. John said nothing. Gathered food onto two trays, balancing them carefully.

"John! John, I just heard!" Richard hastened to him, anxious. "Is she all right? Is Moira all right? How did you ever get her back here and how did you access the anomaly? Where are those other men? Rumors are rampant!"

John's glare froze Richard in his tracks. "Fine. She's fine. I'm looking after her. And my son. Those men are gone."

"Gone? What does that mean, gone? Back through the anomaly?"

"Yes."

"Yes? Why the secrecy? I've heard some ugly rumors, John, and I need confirmation. I'm sorry, John. About Moira. It was the only way, and she's back now. Fine, as you have said. The–"

"No. You took her from me." John's voice was low, but carried all across the suddenly silent cafeteria. "You took her from me and I swear to God that will never, never happen again. Got it?" He left, not waiting for a reply. Not caring for an answer. He strode to his rooms. At a nod Ronon left. John almost entered, but caught himself. Knocked. A quick rap. Then two more. Then four in rapid succession. Waited.

Johnny was talking animatedly, hands waving in the air as he sat next to his mother on the bed. "...and then we fix city to see it work but the lights were gone so we fix ZPM and daddy take the tool and the city likes daddy, mommy, the city likes..." He paused, heard the knock.

Moira moved to her feet. "I–"

"No, mommy, wait!" Johnny cautioned, jumping off the bed and stopping her. He waited as the knocks were repeated. "The code, mommy! Code red!"

"Code? What code, darling?"

"It's daddy!" Johnny ran to the door, touched the wall, not needing the panel. The door opened.

"Daddy!"

John smiled. "Good job, captain! Here we go." John entered the room. His son shut the door behind him as he carried the trays to the table. Set them there.

"John, what is going on here? Code red? A secret knock?"

But Johnny had scampered back to his mother, caught her hand in his. "Mommy, mommy, daddy say we go Pleistocene Park!"

Moira stared, unsure whether she was more surprised that her son could pronounce the word Pleistocene when simpler words still eluded him, or the statement itself. "Did he now? What did daddy say?"

"Daddy, daddy say we go Pleistocene Park when mommy home! We see mammuts!"

"Mammoths, yes, possibly," she said. Turned to see John uncovering the plates. "John, what is this about going to Pleistocene Park?"

"Later, Moy. Come get your dinner, captain, before it gets cold. Moira, please."

"Come on, mommy!" Johnny led her to the table. Moira sighed. Saw the meals of chicken, potatoes, green beans. A glass of milk for Johnny. A beer for John. A bottle of water for her. She watched John cut the chicken into little pieces for his son. Smiled at the action. She sat. Johnny climbed onto her lap, sat. She drew his plate closer. The child began to eat.

"Eat something, sweetheart, please," John suggested. He began to eat his own meal, eyes on her.

"No. I don't think we should just run off to–"

"Not yet. Not until you see Carson and make sure that you and the baby are fine. Don't you worry, honey. It's all handled."

"What's all handled? John?"

"Eat something, please, Moira," John insisted.

She sighed. Ate a piece of chicken. Another.

John relaxed. "Here, Johnny." He helped the little boy drink some milk. He watched Moira eat the mashed potatoes. Drink some water. He studied her. Saw her weariness, her tension. Knew she had just as many questions as he did, but the child precluded all serious discussion. He finished his dinner. Drank his beer. Slow sips as Moira and Johnny finished theirs. Once done he stood. "Here we go, Johnny. Let's get you ready for bed now." He lifted the child from her lap. "I'll take care of him, Moy. Stay here and relax."

"Mommy, mommy, I wanna stay you!" the boy called over his father's shoulder.

She smiled at him. "Okay, darling. Get ready for bed and then you can be here with me."

"Mommy, mommy goo! Daddy, daddy, I want ephant jamas!"

"Elephant pajamas? You got it, captain." He turned, swinging the boy to make him laugh. "Get ready for bed, Moy. Back in ten. Let's go, captain!"

Moira smiled, but the smile faded. She had so many things to say, to ask, but not in front of her son. Trepidation filled her, knowing that John felt the same. She got ready for bed. Exhausted. Nervous. Finding the normalcy odd after being absent for so long. She pulled on her sabertooth tiger pajamas. Snuggled under the blankets of the bed. It was warm, comforting. Familiar.

"Mommy, mommy!" Johnny ran to the bed. Climbed onto it and scrambled under the blankets as she lifted them for him. He smiled. "Mommy, I got Mr. Wooly too!" He showed her the mammoth toy.

"Good thinking, Johnny. Here we go." She kissed him, drew him close. "It's very late. We need to go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay, mommy. Mr. Wooly tired."

John smiled as he crossed the room. He waved off the lights. "Back in five." He entered the bathroom. Got ready for bed, pulling on a pair of plaid pajama pants, a navy t-shirt. He washed his face, brushed his teeth. Stared at himself in the mirror a moment. Tired. Tense. Wanting Moira all to himself. He sighed. Returned to the room. Got into the bed next to them. He slid his arm around them. Kissed Moira. Kissed Johnny. "Go to sleep, you two."

"Daddy, daddy, when we go Pleistocene Park?"

"Soon, buddy. Go to sleep."

"Daddy, daddy, code bue?"

"Blue? No, captain. We're fine. Go to sleep now."

"John? What is code–" Moira began to ask, alarmed.

"Later, Moy. Rest. We all need to rest now. Ssh."

"Ssh, daddy," Johnny agreed, giggled.

"Hilarious, Johnny. Ssh."

"Ssh, daddy!" The boy giggled again.

Moira laughed gently. "Ssh, darling!"

"Ssh, mommy!"

"Ssh, Johnny!"

"Ssh, mommy!"

Their voices grew louder and louder. John grinned. "Hush!" he bellowed, and all three laughed. It was a carefree moment. Binding them, relaxing them.

Reuniting them.

Moira started. Woke, heart hammering. She sat, but calmed. Recognizing her quarters. The familiar furnishings even in the dark. The soft glow of city lights at the window. She looked next to her. Johnny was fast asleep, snuggled in the blankets and holding onto the plush mammoth toy. John was next to him, also asleep. She stared at him a moment. Making certain he was her John, not the colonel.

She slipped out of the bed. Moved to the window and stared upon the night. A full moon rose shyly over the roiling, dark waters. Silver beams sparkling on the waves as they crashed upon the piers below them. She touched the wall, feeling a shiver although the room was warm. Comfortable.

"Moira." She started, nearly jumping at the sound of John's voice as he stood behind her. As his arms encircled her waist, drawing her against him. He kissed her throat. "Sweetheart, it's all right. I'm right here."

"John...John...I...I'm sorry..." she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears as she caught his hands at her waist.

"Ssh, sweetheart. Doesn't matter. I love you, Moy."

"No. I...I'm sorry, John," she repeated.

"You don't have to tell me, Moira. I know."

"I...no, you, you don't. You don't. John, I...I tried! I tried, I really tried..."

"I know," he repeated quietly. Stomach tensing. "You did what you had to do to survive. To protect our baby." He touched her abdomen. Caressing gently. "To protect yourself."

"I...the, the morning sickness kept him away. And the, the exhaustion, working all hours to, to repair the city, to raise it at last...to fix all the glitches and reverse the self-destruct. He...I...but...John, John, I couldn't! I couldn't...I mean I didn't want to...I didn't mean to let it happen. I couldn't...I..." Her words dissolved into silence. Needing to tell him but afraid to tell him. Not sure of his reaction despite her assurances to the colonel that he would understand, that he would forgive her.

"Ssh, sweetheart," he soothed into her hair. "It's all right." His hands slid up to cup her breasts. To caress. Her ran soft kisses up her throat, to her cheek. "It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you are here now. With me. With Johnny. Nothing gets between us, Moy." His hands slid down to caress between her legs now. Wanting her. "Not even this. Not even me. Well, a dark side version of me. Doesn't matter."

"John, John..." She turned to him, dissolving into tears. Clinging to him.

"Ssh, ssh, sweetheart, ssh," he soothed. Caressed her back, holding her. He glanced at the bed to see his son stirring. "Here, ssh, ssh..." He guided them into the bathroom. Shut the door. "Ssh, Moira, ssh...I love you. I love you, Moira. Don't you worry. Doesn't matter. He didn't hurt you, did he? Moy?"

"No." Her voice was muffled against his chest. Fingers clutching at his t-shirt. She calmed at last, his stolid warmth, gentle voice easing her guilt, her shame. She met his gaze. "John?"

He saw the guilt in her brown eyes. The depths of misery. He kissed her. Kiss after kiss. Loving. Hands running along her body. Moira whimpered, responding to his kisses, his touches. "I'll make it all better, baby, I promise. If that's what you want," he added, almost as an afterthought as his own body was responding to hers. Cock stiffening against her softness, her curves, her need.

"John, John, yes, yes! Drown me, John, drown me in love and sex and sex," she whispered, kissing him. Pulling at his clothes, his body. Desperate to be his again. Only his. Wanting to lose herself in his love, his passion. To erase the imprint of the other John Sheppard.

John kept kissing her, as eager, as desperate as she was. He quickly removed her pajamas. His. Guided her to the floor. Slid onto her, mouth and hands wandering. Testing. Exploring. Moira clutched, squirmed. Pulling him closer, closer. Inviting. Demanding. He had planned to take his time but his body took over. Darker emotions surfacing as he kissed her hard. Thrust into her suddenly without any preamble. "Did he fuck you like this, Moira?" he growled, trying to deny the jealousy but unable.

Moira gasped, whimpered. But she wanted it this way, wanted him to do it this way. As if the rougher sex would erase the memory of his darker self's lovemaking. "John, John, John!" she cried softly to each eager thrust. Arching to offer her breasts to him. Legs widening to take all of him into her. Clenching and pulsing over his hard cock as it plied her. Over and over. And over. She ran her nails down his back.

John groaned, growled at the sharp sensation of her nails on his bare skin. At the tight moistness he craved, craved to possess, to dominate. "Ah fuck! Fuck, baby, I've been dying for this!" He drove into her now, grunting. Kissing her, intent on the sex now. Nothing else mattered but the physical escalation of their passion, their pleasure. Their bodies writhing in unison. Joining in a wild hunger until he heard her coming. Her sharp cries of his name, her whimpers. Her sobbing exultation as the climax wiped everything else out of her mind. He groaned, feeling her pulsing over him now, and he drove into her even harder, deeper, faster. Taking her. Making her his.

Moira cried out, arching. She clung to John as she was pounded into the floor, up the floor. Trusting him not to hurt her as the pleasure was vibrant, wild. She relaxed her hold as the orgasms spun, spun, quieted. As he emitted a slew of swear words, coming hard and fast. As he groaned loudly, straining, ejaculating in a shudder. He fell upon her, gasping. Drained. Satisfied. His weight pinning her down but she didn't care. She welcomed his weight on her. His heat. His possession of her. The release of the guilt, the jealousy, the anger.

John moved. Slid out of her, shifting his weight. He ran kisses up her breasts, up her throat. Up to her earlobe to nibble and suck until she gasped, squirming under him again. "Moira. So fucking sweet." He lifted to stare into her eyes. "Nothing. Nothing ever gets between us, Moira. Not a damn thing."

Johnny stirred. Woke. "Mommy?" He had heard his mother crying. His father's calming voice. Gentle. Then other sounds. Recognized them as their happy sounds. Daddy had told him if he heard mommy and daddy making happy sounds he wasn't to bother them unless it was urgent. He smiled, snuggled in the blankets. Relieved to hear his parents and their happy sounds. Knew they were in the bathroom and close if he needed them. He fell back to sleep, content.

Moira slid onto John as he rested on his back. She kissed him, savoring the taste of his mouth. The perfect shape of his full lips. She ran kisses along his scruffy jaw. To his ear. Circled and nibbled. Bit the way he liked. He moaned in response. She nibbled along his throat. Body pressing onto his. "John...oh John...I love you, John."

He smiled. Ran his hands down to her rear and gently squeezed. "Pert little ass. You never answered my question, baby. So?"

"Shut up, sweetie." She kissed him. Sat, straddling him. Gyrating as his cock began to harden. She ran her nails down his chest, tangling in his chest hair, the dog tags. "I am going to fuck you, John. Fuck you hard. Can you take it, soldier?"

"Hell yes, baby. Fuck me hard, Moira. Fuck, you are beautiful," he said, voice low, husky as he stared at her naked, sweaty body. Hair flying all around her as she gyrated on him. Breasts bouncing.

"You'd say anything to get that hard, big cock inside of me, soldier," she retorted. Leaning down to kiss him. Lifted and took him into her. "Oh John! John!"

He thrust up into her, catching her hips. "Faster, baby. Take me all the way into that fucking sweet little pussy of yours."

"John!" she scolded, but was moving with him, on him. Hands grabbing his to keep steady. To keep the momentum going, going, going.

Johnny woke again. Heard the happy sounds. They were louder this time, more enthusiastic. He wondered what game his parents were playing. Again. He waited until the crescendo of their joined noises quieted. Stopped. He scrambled off the bed, moved to the bathroom door. "Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! Mommy!"

Moira froze. "John!" she scolded. She was entwined with him, on her back now as he had been about to take her yet again. Her legs wrapped around him.

John sighed. "Just a sec, captain! Damn it," he muttered. He kissed her. Freed her and sat. He pulled on his pajamas as Moira scrambled into hers.

Moira opened the door. "Johnny, darling. You should be asleep."

"I missed you, mommy!" He took her hand, led her to the bed.

"Oh. Sorry, darling. Let's go back to sleep."

"You done play with daddy now?"

"Yes, Johnny."

"Heck no, Moira. Not by a long shot," John teased, following them. He got into the bed with them. The child between them. He ruffled the boy's hair.

"Daddy, no!" Johnny protested, irritated.

John laughed. "Sorry, son. Let's go back to sleep." He leaned over, kissed Moira. "I'll be spanking that pert little ass, baby."

She snorted. "You wish, sweetie. Go to sleep!"


	12. Chapter 12

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend12

Moira woke. "John?" She sat. Kissed her son who was fast asleep. She heard water running. The shower. She smiled. Got out of the bed. Moved into the bathroom. She stared through the curtain. John was naked, drenched in water and suds. Rubbing the loofah over his long, lean body. Brisk motions, efficient. Suds sparkled in his dark chest hair, his arm hair. The hair on his legs. The hair between his legs until the loofah blocked her view. Moira bit her lower lip. Feeling a surge of lust for him. Desire.

She opened the curtain slowly. Staring as he flexed his muscles. His back. Bare buttocks clenching. Hair plastered to his head. Expression on his handsome face serious. She smirked, seeing where the loofah lingered. "Getting off without me, sweetie?"

"Shit!" John exclaimed, suds spurting as he squeezed the loofah, almost dropping it. He looked over to see her sensual stare. Smiled. "Care to join me, baby?"

She smiled. "Fuck, John. You are so gorgeous."

"I like that. Fuck John. Is that a suggestion or a comment?"

"Both."

He grinned. Brilliant green eyes sparkling. "Are you going to stand there all day, baby, or what was it? Oh. Yeah. Fuck John."

She smiled. Stripped off her pajamas. Stepped into the shower. Moaned as the hot water caressed, soothed. John groaned, staring as she became drenched. She took the loofah from him. Ran it over his chest, his arms. Kissed him, tongue darting to play. She nibbled his throat, bit his ear. He groaned in a rush of arousal. She roughly, roughly scraped the loofah over his waist, then his cock. Then his thighs. Then his balls, making him shift his stance. She dropped the loofah and replaced it with her hands. Stroking him now, rinsing off the suds. He was already stiff, jerking to life at her touch. Her nails ran up and down the hard length of him.

"Moira," he growled, a sound low in his throat as he fully erect now. Helpless in her hands. Throbbing. Staring as the water spilled along her straggling hair. Along her breasts and hard, rosy nipples. Along her hips. Between her legs. She moved to her knees in front of him. She ran her mouth along his thigh, teasing bites. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed, moving in response. His fingers tangling in her wet hair, sliding on her shoulders as she ran her mouth along his cock now. Nibbling to make him moan, tense. She took him into her mouth and sucked, swirled her tongue. Inch by inch as she worked her way up, then down.

John groaned loudly, an almost animalistic sound. Her mouth hot, wet, closing tightly on him. The sight of her taking him like this, on her knees, submissive. But actually in complete control of him. Naked body drenched with water he longed to lick, to taste. Lust was coursing, making him jerk in her mouth. His balls aching with need. But he steeled himself. "No." His voice was little more than a growl, inarticulate. He swallowed. Felt a shiver as she was running her teeth now up to the head. "Fuck! No, Moira, no!" He freed her hair. Gently pushed her back with an effort. The orgasm was starting in a wave of pleasure, causing him to spurt a little.

Moira slid back. He stared as he slid out of her mouth and he jerked again. Water spilling all over them, around them. She looked up at him, brown eyes wide. Rosy lips wet. She flicked her tongue over them. "John?"

He almost whimpered with need at the sight. "Did you?" He swallowed. Voice gruff. He hauled her roughly to her feet. Fingers tight on her bare arms. "Did you go down on him?"

"No. Never," she assured. Understanding his reluctance now. Even as his engorged cock strained to be in her again. She touched his chest, his waist. Gently stroking, as if to soothe a wild animal.

"Did he ever go down on you?"

"No. It wasn't like that, John."

"No? He didn't go down on you?" His gaze raked across her body. Stared hard between her legs. He could smell her arousal. Could almost taste it on his tongue. Almost. Could imagine the snug heat and he shivered. "He didn't suck that fucking sweetness? Not once?" he asked hoarsely. Not quite believing her.

"No, John. It wasn't like that." She stepped closer. Fingers playing on his chest again. "John? Only, only you, John. Only you."

He relaxed. Pulled her into a lengthy kiss. Tongue probing. She melted against him. Yielding. He shut off the water. Spun them round and pinned her to the wall. Thrust into her. She gasped, whimpered. Gyrating as he thrust hard, deep. Quickly as he rocked her, sliding her up and down the wet wall. The tiles were slick and Moira couldn't find any purchase on them so she grabbed his arms. Feet slipping and sliding now as he groaned, swore, took her hard and fast. He was pounding into the wall now but paused. Grabbed her rear and squeezed. Squeezed hard to make her yelp and he grinned. Resumed thrusting eagerly with a moan.

Moira arched. He had complete control of her now. Lifting her, pounding her up and down the slick wall. The pleasure was wild, angling all over, all through her. She cried out, calling his name in a crescendo of passion as the orgasms rolled in her. He kissed her. Mouthed her breasts and sucked, nibbled to make her squirm, whimper. Her fingers tightened on his arms but he didn't care, relished it, relished all of it as she came and he followed right after her.

"Mine! All. Fucking. Mine!" he snarled, punctuating each word with a thrust. He fell against her, easing her down so her feet were on the tub again. He slid out of her. Pressed to her as he caught his breath. Calming after the shuddering orgasm. Moira stroked his wet back. Ran gentle kisses up his throat.

"Easy, John, easy," she soothed. Voice soft. "My John. Only you, John. Only you," she soothed. Clung to him suddenly.

He kissed her. Stepped back but lifted her. Carried her out of the bathtub. Set her gently onto her feet and kept kissing her. He stepped back, grabbed a towel. Wrapped it around both of them, keeping their bodies pressed together. "Fuck, baby. I can't get enough of you right now. I...I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, John. You were wonderful," she purred. "I love you, John." She kissed him, hugged him.

He held her close, rubbing the towel along both of them. "My Moira. Fuck that was hot."

"And wet." She giggled against his skin. He smiled. "Oh John."

"Is junior asleep?"

"Yes. You...what?" She stared down as his smile broadened. "Damn, colonel, your ordnance certainly isn't."

"Yeah, well..pert little ass, baby. All the fucking way, in ten. No, six."

"Mommy! Mommy, mommy! Daddy, daddy!"

"Crap. You said he was asleep!" John complained. Moira shrugged. John sighed. "Just a sec, buddy!" He kissed her. Dropped the towel to the floor and quickly dressed. Moira pulled on her pajamas. He glanced at her, opened the door. "Hey, captain."

"Hi daddy! I'm hungry!"

"Again? How often do we need to feed you, buddy?" The child laughed. John smiled. "Okay. Let's get you dressed first." He took the little boy's hand, guided him towards his room.

"Mommy!"

"Morning, darling. Go get dressed and then we can have breakfast." She moved to the dresser and pulled out some clothes. "What do you want, darling?"

"Pizza and beer!"

John laughed. "Yeah! Sounds good to me, sport!"

"Hilarious, John. How about some waffles?"

"No, mommy. I want cerel. Daddy, daddy, say here cerel?"

"No, we don't need to stay in here today and have cereal. We can have a proper meal. Waffles for you, buddy. Let's go."

"Okay, daddy. Daddy, daddy, I wanna dress like daddy. I wanna waffles. I wanna go see city light to see the blink thing, okay? Daddy, daddy mommy is home now! Mommy said hang pictures on wall! Mommy said we hang pictures on wall! Mommy color with me! Daddy, daddy, mommy home now!"

Moira smiled as her son was talking all the while, leading his father into his room. Sounding normal. Happy. Himself. She moved to the bathroom to quickly dress. But still felt uneasy. Reluctant to leave the room and face everyone.

Moira found it odd to be back in Atlantis. Her Atlantis. Something was off and she couldn't put her finger on it. She looked round as Johnny led her to the cafeteria, chattering all the while how the city was better, how he and daddy and Uncle Rod had fixed it, make it all better. Fixed the boo-boos and made the city sing once more. Made the city like daddy a lot now and how the city was happy to be whole again.

It was quiet. A hush fell as they entered the cafeteria. John guided them towards a table in the back. Many smiled. Many averted their gazes. Armed men proliferated. Making her uneasy. Making the resemblance to that other, darker Atlantis all the more telling. Moira felt a shiver. "John?"

John touched her arm, hearing her worry. "Don't you worry, sweetheart. Johnny, stay with your mother."

"Daddy, daddy, I want waffles!" The little boy caught his father's leg, staring up at him.

John smiled. "Okay, buddy. Waffles it is." He ruffled the boy's hair.

"Daddy!" the boy complained.

John laughed. "Sorry, captain. Sit."

"Daddy, daddy, do I earpiece?"

"No, son. Stand down. Look after mommy. Code purple."

"Oh! Yay daddy, code pwurple!"

Moira stared at them, curious. Concerned. She sat as John moved to get their breakfast. Johnny climbed onto her lap. "Johnny, why do you need an earpiece?"

"So daddy can talk me."

"Oh. And what is code purple?"

"Mommy code pwurple. Mommy home now."

"And the other codes? The other colors?"

Johnny turned to see her. "Daddy say covert ops." As if that explained everything the boy changed topics. "Mommy, mommy, when we go to–"

"Hold on, darling. What do you mean, covert ops?"

"It...it not safe, mommy."

"Not safe? You are perfectly safe here, darling. Aren't you?" She looked round, uneasy. "Johnny? What isn't safe? The other men are gone now." But the child was silent. Cuddling against her.

"Moira."

She looked up as Rodney joined them. "Rodney. What's going on here?"

"Hi Uncle Rod!" Johnny smiled.

"Hey, kiddo! Moira, I'm so glad you are back. You have no idea. I mean you are safe here, don't worry about that. John made damn sure of that."

"The, the other men?"

Rodney nodded as their voices lowered. "Yes. Sent through the anomaly to their own reality." His gaze fell to the table. Before she could ask he continued. "And it's locked down tight now. No one will ever get through it, alive, at least. Moira," he met her gaze, "you have no idea how it's been around here. How hard it's been, for Johnny, of course. But for John...for John...he...doesn't trust anyone now. Well, only a few, but he's not the same. He was under constant surveillance from those men, from our own men. We both were."

"But still, even so, he–"

"I don't think I brought enough food," John jested. Set down two trays.

"Ha ha," Rodney commented.

"Here we go. Waffles and syrup and fruit for junior. Caramel chip pancakes for her highness here. For me, just an egg and bacon and toast."

"Caramel?" she asked, smiled.

He smiled. Sat next to Rodney, across from her. "Yeah. Caramel syrup too. Oh wait, that's for later, right?"

"John!" she scolded to his grin.

"Uncle Rod! Daddy and mommy had happy sounds three times! Three!" He held up three fingers for emphasis.

Moira spluttered, almost spitting up her orange juice. John smirked and laughed. Rodney sighed, grinned. "Really, kiddo? Wow. I'm surprised it was only three."

"Rodney!" Moira scolded. The men laughed at her consternation. Her sudden blush. "Johnny, we don't tell people that,"she admonished. Glared at her husband. "John Sheppard!"

"What?" he asked, gesturing, as if he had no idea. "It is true."

"You never should have told him that!"

"What? About our happy sounds? What would you have me call it, Moira? Hmm? Eat." He smiled at her. Raised a brow. Turned to his friend. "What's on the agenda?"

Rodney shrugged. "I'm monitoring but it still looks good. Secure. Woolsey will want a debrief of Moira's–"

"Hell no. Next?"

"Everyone's waiting for your next move."

"First Moira needs to get checked out, just as a precaution. Then–"

"Pleistocene Park, daddy," the little boy reminded round a mouthful of waffle.

"Yes, son. That's the plan."

"Wait, wait! What the heck is going on here?" Moira demanded. Eyed the two men.

"Nothing, sweetheart. Eat. I've got to write up some reports first and then we can–"

"No! John, what is wrong? This isn't right. None of this is right! What the hell are you teaching my son? Military codes?"

"I'm teaching our son how to survive, Moira," John answered.

"Mommy?"

"Easy, Moira, you're upsetting Johnny," John admonished.

"Then tell me what's going on here! Something isn't right! Look at you two! Like conspirators! I understand why you were that way before, but now? Now?"

"Moira, please, calm down. Eat something," Rodney encouraged.

"No!" She moved Johnny off her lap. Stood. Shoved the tray to the floor. Food spilled. The tray clattered noisily. "Stop telling me what to do! Stop talking about me like I'm not here! I am here! Why won't you tell me what's wrong here?" She glared at the two men. "Fine. Johnny, come here."

"No, wait. Moira, sit down, please," John stated.

"Give me my son!"

"Our son. Go on, Johnny."

The little boy looked from one to the other. Climbed off the chair and took his mother's hand. "Mommy? We go Pleistocene Park?" he asked, as she led him out of the cafeteria.

"No, Johnny."

"Yes, Johnny, as soon as we can," John countered, watching them leave.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend13

John stood. Sighed. Met his friend's gaze. "Keep me apprised. Tell Woolsey there won't be debrief. This wasn't a mission. It's over."

"Have you made a decision yet?"

"No. Not yet. But I will. I need to have Moira checked out by Carson first, then we need to get away for a little bit. Just the three, oh, four of us." He smiled briefly. The smile faded.

"I wish you would reconsider, John. I mean, now that Moira's back with us now. It's over, like you said. All of it."

"Not quite. And until I am certain things aren't moving until I decide."

"And when will you tell Moira?" Rodney countered.

"Afterwards."

John entered his room. Paused. Johnny was standing by the closed bathroom door. Water was running. "Hey, buddy, what's going on?"

"Daddy! Daddy, daddy, mommy sick!" The little boy ran to him, tearful.

John lifted the child. "Is she? She'll be fine, captain, don't you worry." He carried the child to the door. Knocked on it. "Moy? I just need to know if you're okay."

"Fine!" she snapped.

"Mommy, mommy?"

"Here, son. Let's wait for her over there." He carried the boy to the bed. Sat with him on his lap. "We'll give her five. Let's take a look at this."

"Five," the boy repeated, eyes on the door.

Moira washed her face, rinsed out her mouth. Flushed the toilet. The remnants of her meager breakfast swirled, were gone. She touched her abdomen. Felt hot, upset. Unsettled. She sighed. Knew they were out there, waiting for her. Knew she had to pull herself together for Johnny's sake. For John's, even. For the baby she was carrying. But his obstinate refusal to talk about things infuriated her. She moved to the door, opened it. John and Johnny were sitting on the bed, looking over a comic book. Both heads bent over the colored pages. Dark hair mussed on both, disorderly. Father and son dressed alike in black t-shirts, blue pants. At her approach they both looked up to see her. "Sorry."

"Were you sick?" asked John, frowning. He put the comic book aside.

"Yes. It's nothing," she dismissed before he could continue. "Johnny, let's go play in your room. We can color in one of your books."

"Okay, mommy!" He jumped off the bed, moved to her. Caught her hand and led her into the room. "Mommy, mommy, can we color ephants green?"

"Of course we can, Johnny. We can make them whatever color you want."

"Even, even orange?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, darling. Even orange." She looked back. John had moved to the table. Sat, flipping open a data pad. Clearly not leaving them, but not intruding on their time either.

Moira stood next to her son's bed. At last the little boy had tired. Was taking a nap, snuggled with his favorite toys. She stroked his brow. Kissed him. Stepped to the threshold between the two rooms. Entered hers, closing the door halfway behind her. John was sitting at the table. Handsome face bearing a serious expression as he perused a data pad. Brilliant green eyes focused on the screen. Long fingers of one hand tapping the table, drumming a tune only he could hear. The other hand resting on his thigh. She moved silently to him. Touched his shoulder. "John?"

He met her gaze. Saw her wariness. Weariness. He glanced to the half-closed door. Back to her. "Moy? You want to tell me now what the hell is going on? You threw up, didn't you? You have no appetite. You refuse to see Carson or any doctor. Is the baby okay?"

"The baby is fine."

"How do you know? How do you know that, Moy, when you won't be checked out?"

"Seamus Sean is fine," she repeated. Eyed the screen. "What is that?"

"Names."

She frowned. "I can see it's a list of names, flyboy! You..." She sighed. Sat on his lap suddenly, straddling him. Her back to him as she read through the list. Many of the names were highlighted in red. "Marines. It's a list of marines."

"Yes," he confirmed as she shifted on him, getting comfortable. His arms went round her to rest on her thighs.

"Why? The...so many in red. Why?"

"To be eliminated."

She swallowed. Alarmed. Moved off him only to straddle him again, this time facing him. She touched his chest as his arms slid round her again. Hands caressing her lower back. "John? I...I don't understand."

His expression was serious. Voice grave. Low. "I didn't want to discuss this until after our little trip, Moy, but your stubbornness gives me no option."

"My stubbornness? What about yours, colonel? What the hell is going on here?" she demanded. Frowning at him.

"It's simple, really. We have two choices, Moira. Either we leave Atlantis. Or stay."

She sighed. "Oh, is that all?" she snapped.

"Yes. If we leave we leave everything behind. All of it. Atlantis. The SGC. The Air Force. We go back to Earth and live somewhere far from all of this. Raise our sons and just be together."

"And if we stay?" she asked softly. Was almost afraid to ask seeing the grim determination in his eyes.

"If we stay...well..choices need to be made. A completely new rotation. I only want men here I can trust. Men loyal to me. Not to the SGC or to Atlantis, or even to Woolsey. Only to me. We weed out the all of the rest. Dispatch any dissidents. We take control of the city. My city."

Moira stared at him, fingers stilling on his chest. "You...you're talking a coup."

"Yeah. Basically."

"Why?"

He was silent a moment. "They took you."

"What? No, John, I made the decision to–"

"No. They took you. They held me down, held me back. My own men. My own fucking men kept me from you," he said. Anger seeped into his low voice. "They were complicit."

"No." She considered. "You feel betrayed. By me. And by them."

"Not by you."

"I did what I had to do to save you, John. And your men did the same. If not for them those other men would have beaten you senseless! It had to stop! So they kept you safe, just as I did."

"They kept me from you. Let you be taken," he countered.

"It was my choice, John."

"No. You had no choice. They did. And they chose wrong."

She felt a chill. Recalled his earlier words. "What, what happened to those other men? Rodney said you sent them through the anomaly. But he looked, he...you, you said execute. You, you meant that literally, didn't you? John?" Her brown eyes widened.

"All threats are to be eliminated, Moira. And I had to send a message to the bastard that orchestrated it all."

"You...oh my God..." she whispered. Tried to move but John held her in place. "You, you killed them? Every one of them? Sent their bodies back through the anomaly?"

"Message. And if anyone tries to access that thing it will create a vortex and implode. A counter defense measure. It ends now, Moira."

She looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "Nine men...you, you can't blame the colonel for all of this! He didn't orchestrate the sinking of this city! And we sent the message for help. I sent the message for his help and he did help us save this city! Without his help or his men or his tech the city would be at the bottom of the ocean now! He–"

"Don't you dare defend him, Moy! Ever!" he growled. Furious. She fell silent at his dangerous tone. So like his darker self she felt a shiver. He lifted her face to his. Gaze stern. "You let me handle the details. We can make this decision soon enough. Right now I want you to concentrate on yourself and the baby you are carrying. My baby. And on Johnny. Nothing else matters, Moira. No one else matters but our little circle."

She swallowed. Felt an odd thrill at his intensity. But also unease. Realized that this was what Rodney had been trying to tell her, to warn her about the changes in John. Her hands fluttered on his chest again. "John, please. Think this through."

"I have, believe me. Moira, I'd do anything. Anything for you. To keep you safe. Secure. To keep our little circle safe and secure. At all costs."

"I see. And that's why you are teaching Johnny all this military jargon, all these codes and secret knocks and giving him earpieces and God knows what else?" she flared, sliding off his lap. She stood, glaring at him.

He turned to watch her. "Yes."

"You are scaring him!"

"And you're not? Getting sick like that? Refusing to see a doctor? I should be asking you what the hell is going on, not the other way around, Moira!"

"No, John. This ends now! This isn't right! This is Atlantis, our Atlantis, not some military adjunct like, like the other one! You can't be treating Johnny like this! He's a little boy, not one of your damn marines! He's a little boy who needs to feel safe and loved in his home! He needs to be carefree and not looking over his shoulder every five seconds! He needs to be playing make-believe games not learning military lingo! He needs to feel protected but not suffocated! He needs to feel trusted and not under a shadow of suspicion! He needs to feel loved no matter what he's done or had to do and he needs to know, John, he needs to know that you won't hold anything against him because you are the most important man in his life, John! You! You, John, and no other man! Not even another you would ever, could ever change that!"

John blinked. Staring at her. Tears sparkling in her brown eyes. Tension in every line of her body. "He needs?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lower lip. The words had spilled out, a rush of emotion. Starting with Johnny and ending with herself. The necessary assurances not convincing her. "Um...yes."

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay?" she asked, voice rising.

"Yeah. Okay."

She stared. "Okay. Okay then. Okay."

He stood. Moved to her. Encircled her with his arms. Kissed her. A slow, savoring kiss. "Moira," he breathed into her hair. Guiding her backwards, backwards until she hit the wall. "Tell me." He ran kisses along her throat, body sliding along hers.

"Huh?" Moira was clutching at him, uncertain.

"Tell me what he did," John said quietly. Nibbling on her earlobe now.

She murmured, reacting. His body pressing onto hers. "I...huh? John?"

"Or is it what he didn't do?"

She pushed at him, startled. "What?"

"Ah."

"Ah? What the hell is this, John? What do you want from me?"she flared.

"The truth. Your love. Your trust. Your body. Your exuberant passion," he answered.

Startled she stared at him. Hands flat on his chest but he didn't move. Not an inch. Gaze boring into hers. "You...you have all, all that."

"Do I? Entirely?"

"Yes."

He kissed her. "Then do me the courtesy of realizing you have the same from me." He freed her. Moved across the room as the door opened and his son stood there. Hair mussed from his nap.

"Hi daddy!"

"Hi, son. Let's go." He swung the boy off his feet, causing the child to laugh in delight. He turned. "Let's go see Uncle Carson. Moira."

She hadn't moved from the wall, staring at him. Baffled, angered, enamored all at once. With a sigh she followed them out of the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend14

Moira was biting her lower lip as she was prone on the bed. The scanning beam ran up and down her body. A thin green line. The data screen filled with information. She stared at the ceiling, uncomfortable. Shaken by John's demeanor. His harsh assessment. Resolve. Yet at the same time his love and his concern reassured her. She wondered how to fix things. Pondered what to do. She swallowed. Glancing over to see John staring at her. His son in his arms, also staring.

"Well?" John asked as the beam disappeared. The machine swung back and Moira sat.

"Just a tic, colonel." Carson Beckett read through the data. Although a clone of the original doctor he was very nearly the same man. Had the same memories, the same personality. Only looked slightly different. Acted a little differently. "She's fine. A little undernourished, but that's understandable. I'll give her some vitamins to help her with that, and make sure she is eating properly. The baby is fine too. Strong heartbeat, excellent development. At this angle I can't quite tell the sex yet, but we'll know soon enough. Nearly three months along now, I'm guessing by the size." He moved to a cabinet. Returned and handed Moira a bottle. "Take two of these each day. They will restore what you've lost when you were gone. Get plenty of rest and take care of yourself, Moira."

She nodded, not trusting her voice. Moved to her feet.

"And there's nothing else wrong with her?" John persisted.

"No, John. Not a thing. Physically. Moira, love, are you all right?"

She nodded again. Saw her son staring. "Fine. Just tired, is all."

"Do some blood work, just to be sure. Last time that bastard slipped her that poison, remember? Made her sick and we had to–"

"John! He didn't slip me anything!"

"Nothing except his tongue, right? Oh, and his cock." The words were out of his mouth before he had realized he was even thinking them, much less saying them. Her defense of him provoking his jealousy again. His anger.

"John!" she exclaimed, startled. She dropped the bottle of pills. Knelt to snatch them off the floor. She stood. Embarrassed she felt a blush on her cheeks. Glanced at Carson awkwardly. The doctor looked at the floor, uncomfortable as well.

"Sorry," John mumbled. "Crap. I guess I'm tired as well. Check her blood work, doc. Just to be sure there's not some pathogen like last time."

"No. I'm fine."

"Let me be sure, love." Carson took her arm, guided her back to the table. Proceeded to take a sample of blood. "Give it time, Moira," he counseled under his breath. "He'll come round."

"I thought he had...I thought..." She sighed.

John turned away, carried his son across the room. "It's all right, Johnny. Don't you worry now. You didn't say hi to Uncle Carson."

"Is mommy sick, daddy?"

"No, son. But we are making sure, okay? Then we can go play."

"Play with mommy?"

"Yes, son. We will both play with mommy." He turned to see Moira scowling, holding a cotton pad on her arm as she bent her elbow. Carson was taking the blood to a table, writing on the vial. He moved back to her. "Moira, I...I'm sorry. I just–"

"Save it." She took her son from him. "Let's go, darling. Everything's fine now. This is your home. Atlantis is home. And we are not going anywhere."

It was raining. Water was pouring from the sky. Turning the day into a bleak shadow. Merging the sea and sky into a bland blending. Shades of gray and white. Moira hugged herself, feeling the chill although the room was quite warm. She touched her son's shoulders as he stood in front of her, watching the water.

"Cold, mommy!"

"Yes, darling, but we are warm here."

"Wet!"

"Yes, that too, silly Johnny!" she said, kissed the top of his head. Tickled his neck. The little boy giggled.

"Mommy!"

"What? Silly Johnny!" She moved to her knees behind him, hugged him to her. He giggled as she kissed his cheek, nibbled his ear.

"Mommy, that tickles!"

"Oh? Okay, darling." She watched the rain with him. "There now."

"There now," he repeated. Snuggling into her embrace, her warmth, her love. "Mommy, mommy, when we go Pleistocene Park?"

"I don't know, darling. We need to sort things out here first."

"City is fix, mommy."

"Yes, it is, thanks to you and daddy and Uncle Rodney."

"So we go Pleistocene Park code pwurple mommy home. Daddy said. Daddy said," the little boy argued.

"We'll see, darling," she soothed. "Johnny, how many codes are there?"

"I dunno. I...um...code red. Code green. Code bwue. Code pwurple mommy home! Code, code um, code back, no...code black. And code for door knock only daddy know. Mommy!" He turned to her, all smiles. "I daddy's secret mission op guy!"

"I bet you are, darling, but we don't need any of that any more. You are safe here, Johnny."

"I daddy's secret mission op guy! Daddy! Daddy!" The little boy moved out of her arms and ran to his father as John stood in the doorway. Johnny grabbed hold of his father's leg, staring up at him. "Daddy, I daddy's secret mission op guy? Am I? Am I?"

"Yes, sport, you are. Always." John ruffled his hair.

"Daddy, no!" Johnny frowned.

John chuckled. "Sorry, secret mission guy. Here we go!" He swung the child off his feet, held him upside down. "Hey, where is Johnny? Has anyone seen Johnny?" He turned round, pretending to look. The child giggled. "Where has that silly Johnny gone?"

"I here daddy!"

"Huh? Oh, now what you are doing there, buddy?" He righted the child, hoisted him into his arms. Johnny laughed in delight.

"Daddy! Daddy fun!"

"Yeah, sport. Fun."

Moira was watching them. Smiling. But she turned back to the window. Watched the rain. Hugged herself again. She could feel her husband's eyes on her, assessing. Wanting. She licked her lips. Heard the approach of his footsteps. Boots heavy on the floor. "I don't care what you say, John," she said, before he could say anything. "He doesn't need to know all of that anymore. He's just a little boy. He's safe here. I'm back now, and I won't, I won't let you turn him into a little soldier. Except in play, in make-believe."

John frowned. Set the little boy down. "Go get your coloring book, son. It's in our room."

"Okay, daddy! Green ephants!" The little boy ran into the other room.

John placed his hands on Moira's shoulders. Gently squeezed. Stepped closer so that his body brushed hers. "He's fine, Moy. I did what I had to do to keep him safe and secure. Just as you did over there for yourself and for our baby. To him it was a game, mostly, but he knew it was important. It still is. You have no idea what it was like, Moy."

She turned to him, backing up and hit the wall. "Then tell me! Tell me what it was like for you, John! For our son! Don't you think I know how difficult it was for him? Don't you think I could think of nothing else but Johnny! Every day and every night? Don't you think I felt guilty at leaving him, but I left him with you, his father, in his home where he could be safe and secure. And what do I find? You are teaching him things that will scare him and he won't understand!"

"Oh, he does understand, Moy. Believe me. And it doesn't scare him. It reassures him. You left him in my care, Moy, and I took care of him." His voice lowered. "I took care of him every day and every night while we fixed this city, under the constant surveillance of enemy soldiers in my city! Under the eyes of my own men and Woolsey, making damn sure I didn't go rushing after you! They tried to keep us from getting you back, me and Rodney, but we worked it all out right under their fucking noses, Moy! So no, don't you tell me how to raise my son or how to teach him to survive in enemy territory!"

She blinked. "Okay, John," she said softly, startled by his outburst of anger. She touched his chest. Softly kissed his lips.

"Not to mention while I was here alone, every fucking night alone you were busy fucking him every night, weren't you?" he snarled. Caught her before she could move away.

Moira glared at him. "Not every night." She shoved past him. "Johnny, did you find your book?" she asked, before John could respond, reply.

The little boy emerged out from under the table. "I no find it, mommy! Where ephant book?

"We'll find it, darling, don't you worry. Here, let's look here." She guided the boy to the table. Sorted through books and papers. She glanced over her shoulder. John was glowering at her. She stared back, finding him incredibly sexy when he was pissed.

"Mommy, here!" Johnny pulled the coloring book out from under a stack of papers, waved it in the air like a banner.

"Oh. Good for you, darling! Okay, let's get some crayons and see what we can color." She took his hand, guided him back towards his room. Paused. John stepped aside, allowing the little boy to enter. He stepped in front of Moira, blocking her. "John?"

"What aren't you telling me, Moira?"

"Nothing. Now move. Johnny wants to–"

"No. What are you holding back from me? What did he do to you? Besides fu–"

"Stop it! Can't you just leave it alone? You said it didn't matter! You said that it didn't matter! I told him you would forgive me. Was I wrong? You don't know what it was like for me there, John! You have no idea!"

"Then fucking tell me," he said, voice low. Gaze boring into hers.

"No. Not when you are like this. Now move!" She shoved past him, moved to her son. Smiled. "It's all right, Johnny. Daddy's just being stubborn. Now, what do you want to color today?"

"Ephants! Daddy, daddy color too?" Johnny asked, staring at his father.

John smiled. "Not now, son. Color with mommy. Daddy has work to do in here."

Moira frowned. "You don't have to babysit us, John. We are perfectly safe here."

"I do, Moira. Deal with it." He entered their room. Spun back to see her sitting on the floor with Johnny. They were turning the pages of a coloring book, looking for one that hadn't been colored yet. A big box of crayons sat next to them. "What do you want for dinner?"

She met his gaze. "Can't we go to the cafeteria and choose there, like an ordinary family and not hostages?"

"No. We're dining in this evening. And you are going to eat."

"Pizza and beer, daddy!"

"I wish, captain, but no. Something more–"

"No. Pizza and beer sounds good to me, too, Johnny," Moira challenged. Her gaze locked with John's. "Does that meet with your approval, colonel? Is that in line with your military code for your personnel? Does that infringe upon any commands or–"

"Enough, Moira! I swear I will spank that pert little ass blue! Did he–"

"No, he didn't! Damn it, John, will you just–"

"Will you tell me what the–"

"Mommy! Daddy! Mommy!"

Moira sighed. Turned to her son. Kissed him. "It's all right, Johnny. It's all right." She cuddled the boy. "Now...let's color this. This is a mastodon, see? What color should we make him? How about...orange? Is that a silly color for a mastodon, darling?"

"Yes, mommy," the child replied, soothed. But he looked back at his father. Pouted. Snuggled. "Daddy mad," he whispered to her.

Moira kissed him. "I know, darling, but not at you. Once he has his beer he will be fine. Now, can you find the orange crayon? And let's make his tusks blue."

Johnny giggled. "Okay, mommy! Bwue!"

"Blue, yes," she agreed. Looked over her shoulder but John was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend15

Johnny was happy. He sat between his parents, messily eating a slice of pizza. Cheese dribbled onto his fingers but he didn't mind. Enjoying the food. Looking from mommy to daddy as they ate their own slices. Daddy's piled high with ham and pineapple. Mommy's having sausage and pepperoni. Johnny's had sausage and ham. He sipped his milk. Made a face at the taste after pizza. Mommy had a soda. Daddy had a beer. The rain was still pouring outside, creating a loud drumming sound that was soothing.

"Mommy, mommy, can we pizza for breakfast?"

She smiled. "No, Johnny."

"Daddy, daddy, can we pizza for breakfast?" the child tried.

John smiled. "No, Johnny. Nice try, though. Next time ask me when mommy isn't in the same room." He winked at the boy. The child giggled.

"Okay, daddy! I do it."

"Okay, then." John sat back, sipping his beer. Watching as Moira devoured another piece. Relieved she had her appetite back. He grabbed a napkin, wiped his son's messy face, hands. "Finish your milk, Johnny."

"I want beer, daddy."

"Not yet, son. Finish your milk. Then we can watch a cartoon. Then a story. Then bed."

"Routine three, daddy."

"Yes, son."

Moira shook her head. "You numbered his routines now? What's next? Is his whole life going to be regimented?"

"No...only the important bits. It helps to have order, Moira. In times of stress. You know, like when his mother runs off to another reality."

"Or when his father decides to take over the city?" she countered. Stood. "Let's go watch that cartoon, Johnny."

"Come on, daddy!" Johnny jumped off the chair, tugged at his father's hand. Led him to his room, following his mother.

There was a knock at the door. John moved to his feet, alert. Glanced at his wife and son who were sitting on the floor, coloring books and toys scattered around them. "Stay here." He stalked out of the room, crossed into his.

Moira sighed. Stood. But Johnny caught her leg. "No, mommy! No code knock!"

"It's all right, Johnny. It doesn't have to be a code anymore," she soothed, lifting the child to her arms. She kissed him. Moved into the other room.

John opened the door. Relaxed. "Come in. Report."

Evan entered the room, turned to face John as he closed the door. "All's secure, sir. Rumors are flying. Word is spreading, just as you requested."

"Good. I'm going over the details now. Tomorrow we dispose of the rest."

"Dispose? What the hell does that mean?" Moira challenged, nearing.

Evan smiled. "Moira! It's so good to have you back! Are you okay?"

"Dispose?" she repeated, ignoring him. Eyes on her husband.

John turned to her. "Go play with Johnny." He turned back to Evan, dismissing her. "Delta is solid. As I knew they would be. Woolsey won't be a problem. He'll tow the line after what we went through. The rest will once we finish this. It's more a change of command, really, and once we get our replacements we can resume missions and the–"

"Don't you dare ignore me!" Moira flared, setting down the little boy. She grabbed John's arm, turning him to her. "Answer me!"

"Mommy? Daddy play now?"

"Go play with Johnny, Moira. We can discuss this later."

"We will discuss this now, damn it! Don't you dare order me like that!"

"Why? Did he?"

"Um, look, if this is a bad time..." Evan offered, as they glared at each other.

"Mommy! Mommy, don't go!" Johnny hugged her leg.

Moira gathered him into her arms again. Kissed him. "Of course not, darling! I'm not going anywhere. It's all right. Let's go play a game. Here we go, darling." She glared at John, carried the boy into his room.

John sighed, turned to see Evan staring. "Things are still a little...rough. She'll come round."

"If you say so, sir. But Moira can be awful stubborn."

"Don't I know it, major. Don't I know it."

Moira stood in the doorway between the two rooms. She closed the door softly behind her, stepping into her room. Johnny was fast asleep at last. She stood, looking at John. Just looking at him. He was sitting at the cleared table. Working on reports. Handsome face serious. He rubbed his chin. A shadow of stubble lined his strong jaw. Moira twisted her fingers together. Nervous. Tense. She took a few steps towards him. Stopped. Hands in front of her abdomen now. "You would leave me."

John's fingers stopped on the keyboard. He looked at her. Closed the data screen. Had been aware of her scrutiny. Had chosen to ignore it. Waiting. Just waiting. He glanced at the closed door to his son's room. Back to her. Silent.

Moira couldn't look at him. She regarded her hands. Fingers twisting together. "He, he wanted me to stay. To stay. To make a life with him. To, to raise Seamus Sean as his own. To make the illusion of what we had a reality. But it wasn't real. None of it. And because, because it was you, a version of you it broke my heart to, to break his. Even though he knew. He knew I wouldn't stay. I couldn't. My life, my love is here. And then I come back here to find...this. It's like his reality, John. Becoming like his. A militant Atlantis with you in charge. Running the city, the missions, everything. Interconnected to the city like he is now."

"He said I would leave you?" John asked after a moment. Listening to her every word. Her every convoluted emotion.

"Yes. Because of what, of what...because of what we share. The colonel and I. No, not just the, the sex. But the emotion. Betrayal. You feel betrayed by that, by this. Even if it was with the same man, another version of you. He said it would eat away at you. Piece by piece. Until you couldn't look at me. Or be with me. The love would, would dissolve. And I know he told me that in order to try to keep me with him. But I see it, John. I can see it in your eyes. And now this...this coup."

He stood. Moved to her. Caught her hands, stilling them. "No. I won't leave you, Moy. Does it piss me off the way you feel about him? Yes. Does it make me jealous, that fact that you slept with him? Hell yes. Even though it was me. A version of me, but still...it wasn't me. But we've been down this road before, Moira. And we got through it. We can get through this. You chose me. Our life here. Our sons. Me. I won't leave you, Moira. Things are different here in Atlantis now, it's true. The have to be different now. I'm sorry, but they have to be if we are to remain here. For your sake. For the sake of our sons. Even for mine. But I will not leave you."

She seemed to relax. "John...I...if you loved me less because of it I would understand. I would."

But tears filled her brown eyes.

"I love you more because of it. Once I get past my injured ego. Alpha, remember?" He drew her into his arms. "My worst rival is myself, Moira. My only rival is...well, me. Hell, I don't even know how to begin to deal with that one. But you're here. With me. With Johnny. You carry my child inside you. So we'll get past this, you and I."

"And, and the rest?" she asked. "The coup?" Secure in his arms she held onto him. Seeking his warmth. Needing his love, his passion.

"A bloodless coup. Yes. Necessity. But it won't be like his Atlantis. We'll have technicians. We'll have scientists. The only changes will be to the military. That's all. And yes...Woolsey is still nominally in charge, but I'm the one truly in charge. Have been for years now, Moy, in actuality. Johnny tells me the city knows that too."

"Are you, are you sure about this, John? I mean, I mean taking command of the city? I mean you have been in charge, I know that...but this...there could be repercussions from the SGC and the IOA and the–"

"Doesn't matter. We'll deal with them. They don't quite get the reality of our situation out here. Not much will change, once I remove the dissidents."

She swallowed. "Those who, who kept you from me? But they were protecting you, John! They–"

"No. They are a liability, Moira. They need to be gone. A situation like this will never, never happen again. You will not be put into a position like that again. Ever. I'm not budging on this. You leave the military decisions to me, Moira. That is my job."

She nodded. Caressed his shoulder, his chest. "If you think that is the best thing to do. The right thing to do. For the city."

"For you. Yes. No arguments."

"And what about the city?"

"The city? Will run as it always has. The wheels are all in place, Moira. Only the cogs are changing. Slightly. That's all. You know...this ATA thing...it feels different now. I mean when I connect with the city. This weird bond with the city...yeah, that's new. We'll deal with that as well. All of us. Johnny's bond will be stronger. As will Seamus Sean's. Damn that's a mouthful. Are you sure about that name?"

She smiled. Pulled back to see him smiling. Eyes sparkling with humor. With love. Love for her. "Yes. And you are more of a mouthful, John, believe me. That drawing of Johnny's was fairly accurate."

"Fairly?" he raised a brow. Shifted her body along his. "I think we need to find scientific proof of that, baby. The evidence is right here for you to discover."

"I can feel that, sweetie. John..."

He kissed her. "It's all right, Moy. Bear with me. I don't love you any less. And you love me even more. We'll be fine. And Atlantis...she'll be fine too."


End file.
